And thus the soft air breathed on them, and the still moments passed
over those two young creatures, clinging to each other among the silence
of the hills, with the sorest ache in their hearts which each had ever
known. Isabel in her fright had almost forgotten hers. She sat embracing
Ailie who leant upon her, and wondering what it was which had moved the
girl so strangely to the exclusion of her own thoughts, which had been
bitter enough. Once before Isabel had spoken in her haste, and her voice
had been taken for an oracle of God. She had never forgotten the awful
sense that, had she but held out and struggled against utterance,
Margaret’s life might have been spared; she had given way to her
feelings then and again now; and what was it that she had done this
time?--something which she had never anticipated and did not yet
understand. In her trouble she spoke, with a voice that trembled,
closely in her companion’s ear.
‘O Ailie, you are not to mind! I was not thinking what you meant or what
it was. I said the first thing that came into my head, as I am always
doing. Ailie, tell me what it is and then we’ll think--we’ll try and see
what is best.’
‘No,’ said Ailie, faintly, ‘it wasna that I wanted. I wanted but one
word, the first that came into your head. It was drawing the lot. If you
had kent what I meant it would have been different. No, it’s a’ past.
I’ve struggled and fought in my mind like a profane person. It has ay
been the same in the Book itself; whiles one word, whiles another; but
ay saying, “Yes, yes"--ay about the bridegroom and the bride. But I said
to myself, the next time it will be different. And now there’s you. I
thought She’ll say No, the innocent thing. She’ll divine by my eyes that
my heart’s broken. And you didna look at me, Isabel, to let yourself be
turned away, but said what was put into your mind.’
‘Is it about you and Mr. John?’ said Isabel, bending down to her ear.
A shudder ran through Ailie’s frame. ‘Ay,’ she said, with a long sobbing
sigh. ‘But if it’s the Lord’s will, nae man shall hear me say a word
more. And, Isabel, if it come to pass, and ye see him and me together as
we’ll have to be, you’ll not take any notice; what I must do I will do
to the full, and no in part.’
‘But, O Ailie! you’ll never do it; you must not do it--if you don’t love
him!’ said Isabel.
She shrank and hesitated to say the word. It seemed to her a kind of
blasphemy.
‘Could I have said it to Margaret?’ she asked herself. And was not
Ailie, too, like Margaret, a dedicated virgin, above such suggestions of
this common earth?
‘Oh, whisht!’ said Ailie, with a wild, sudden flush of colour flaming
over her face. ‘Whatever the Lord’s will may be, I am His handmaid to do
it. But, eh! how I’m punished now! I wouldna let your Margaret be. I
would bid her back to earth when she was at Heaven’s door--no thinking
what was waiting for myself. Though I’m no murmuring against the Lord.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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