‘I am very comfortable,’ said Margaret. ‘I am not disposed to move. I’m
better here than in my bed, with that glimmer of the fire. I was always
fond of a fire. It’s like a kindly spirit with its bits of flames,
crackling and chattering. I have it in my mind to speak to you both, if
you’ll have patience and listen. Don’t contradict me, Isabel. I know I
am going fast, and why should you say no? But it would be a real comfort
to speak and tell you what I wish before I die.’
‘Oh, Margaret! anything but that,’ cried Isabel.
The invalid shook her head with an expression of pain. ‘Nothing but
this,’ she said; ‘if you want to cross me, and vex me, and drive me to
be silent, it’s in your power: but my sister will never do that. I must
speak, if you would leave my heart at rest. Dry your eyes, Isabel. I’m
selfish, but ye must yield to it. If it was you that were going, would
not your heart burn to speak before you left to them you hold dear? and
to-night you must think not of yourself, but of me.’
It was a strange group: the room so poorly lighted, with the two candles
on the table, the fire smouldering in the grate, dying into dull embers;
Margaret laid out on her invalid chair supported by pillows, her pale
face absorbing all the light there was; Jean sitting crouched together
on the stool with her honest, comely countenance, serious now and full
of anxiety, turned to her stepdaughter; and Isabel in her chair apart
against the wall, as if she were not one of them--her face visible only
in profile--her hands hanging listless in her lap--her eyes cast down.
The dying girl, who did not understand it, was wounded by her sister’s
withdrawal; and yet what did it matter?--perhaps it left her more free
to speak than if Isabel’s tender eyes had been searching out the
meaning in her face before she could utter it? Even the irritation and
half-estrangement of a grief too poignant to be submissive, Margaret
could understand.
‘I am thinking most of Bell,’ she said. ‘I’ve always thought most of
Bell. It was natural. There were but the two of us in the world. And
I’ve always been a woman, you’ll mind. When she was but a bairn playing
on the hill-side, I was like her mother. That was my nature; and now the
sorest thought I have is to leave her without a guide in this hard
world.’
Isabel could not speak--but she made a hasty, deprecating gesture with
her hand.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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