A little impatient sigh burst from Margaret’s breast. ‘You stood by,’
she said, ‘once before, and took all the light and all the sweetness out
of life. For once I will speak. I have been proud, but it’s not the time
for pride now. O, John Diarmid, it is fit it should be your hand to call
me back to life as you call it! I would never have upbraided you--no,
not by a word. It was a thing settled you were never to come here. But
now I will speak before I die.’
‘Speak!’ he cried, going down upon his knees with a crouch of submission
in his great frame. ‘Say what you will. I am vile to all and vilest to
you. You are as God to me, Margaret, Margaret! But take the life I have
won for you and never see me more.’
‘The life you have won!’ said Margaret, with a tone which in any other
voice would have been disdain. But her voice was like that of a dove,
and had no notes of scorn in it. Yet soft as the approach to contempt
was, the dying girl was remorseful of it. ‘I must not speak like this,’
she said; ‘and you must not speak to rouse the ill spirit in me, and me
so near the pleasant heavens. Whisht! I canna think shame now, though
Isabel is there to hear. John Diarmid, once I was as nigh loving you as
now----’
‘You’re nigh hating me!’ he said, with a great sob breaking his voice.
‘No; as I’m nigh being free of all the bonds of this world,’ said
Margaret. ‘I was little more than a bairn; I was like Bell. They said
you meant me harm; but I never thought you meant me harm----’
As the pathetic voice went on John Diarmid bowed his head lower and
lower till at last he sank prostrate on the floor by the side of the
sofa. It was her last words that brought him to this abject
self-humiliation. He knew better than she did. A groan burst out of the
man’s labouring breast. Even Isabel--sitting in a trance at her sister’s
feet, roused up out of her stupor, her cheeks burning with a wild flush
of jealousy and shame, half-wild that Margaret had descended from her
saintly pedestal to avow the emotions of earth, and furious to think
that any man had shared her heart--yet felt an unwilling movement of
pity for the prostrate sinner. Margaret only continued without any
change.
‘I never thought you meant me harm,’ she said, once more smiting with
the awful rod of her innocence the man at her feet. ‘But when I heard
what you had been, and what you had done, the light died out of the
world. I am not blaming you. It was God that gave me my death, and not
man; but from that hour I had no heart to live. Why should a woman
strive to live, and fight against all the unseen powers, when this
world’s so sore-defiled, and not a spot that she can set her foot
on,--no one that she can trust? For me I had no heart to struggle more.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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