A certain note of plaintive self-consciousness had come into the steady
voice, broken only by weakness, with which Margaret told her tale, as if
it were a history so long past that all emotion had died out of it. And
so it was. Her almost love had faded in her heart; but there still
remained a sense of pity for the young forlorn creature whose eyes had
been thus opened, and of whom Margaret had half-forgotten that it was
herself.
For the moment in her abstraction, in her deadly calm, she was well-nigh
cruel. She took no notice of the man who lay abject at her feet, with
his face to the ground. Her great spiritual eyes in those pale circles
which approaching death had hallowed out, gazed wistfully into the
darkness. Perhaps it was the convulsive movement of the prostrate figure
by her which roused her at last. Suddenly she stirred, and, putting out
a white thin hand, laid it softly on his bowed head. ‘John Diarmid,’ she
said, softly, ‘are you walking with God now?’
He seized her hand, raising his head from where he lay, and knelt
upright by her, pressing it to his breast, which heaved violently as
with sobs. What compunction was in his heart, what sudden knowledge of
himself, what remorse, no one could say. It was dark, and they were to
each other as ghosts in the gloom. Margaret could see his gestures, but
nothing more; if, indeed, anything more could have been learnt from the
bent head and hidden countenance. Her voice grew softer and softer when
she broke the silence again.
‘I know you’re moved to the heart,’ she said. ‘I am not doubting you
_now_. You are changed, and I see you’re changed. And if you would but
tell me there were no more such thoughts in your heart, and that you
were walking with God--then I would feel there were some prayers
answered before I die.’
‘You have prayed for me, Margaret!’ he cried. The passionate man was
subdued to a child. His great frame was shaken by sobs; his eyes were
wet with tears. He had not another word to say; his passion, his
inspiration, all the prophetic pretensions which clothed him, had
vanished like so many cobwebs. He knelt by the purest love of his life
with a heart broken and speechless. She dying, and he without power to
save.
‘Aye!’ she said, laying her hand once more upon his head; and then there
was silence broken only by the groan or sob that came from John
Diarmid’s heart.
The next minute familiar sounds and sights broke in. Jean Campbell, with
a candle in her hand, came pushing open the closed door. ‘Eh, you’re in
the dark, like craws in the mist,’ she said, as she approached.
At the sound of her voice John Diarmid sprang to his feet, rising like a
giant out of the darkness. He bent down his head suddenly over Margaret,
pressed his motionless lips to her forehead, with a movement of despair,
which was no kiss, and passing the astonished woman who held up her
candle to look at him, rushed forth like the wind, letting the night and
the chill air enter as he plunged forth.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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