Chinese -- England -- Fiction; England -- Fiction; Epistolary fiction; Humorous stories
At this display of charitable broadmindedness an approving shout went
up on all sides. Thus encouraged I proceeded to kow-tow with even more
unceasing assiduousness, and presently words of definite encouragement
mingled with the shout. “Do not flag in your amiable disinterestedness,
Kong Ho,” I whispered in my ear, “and out of your well-sustained
endurance may perchance arise a cordial understanding, and ultimately
a remunerative alliance between two distinguished nations.” Filled with
this patriotic hope I did not suffer my neck to stiffen, and doubtless I
would have continued the undertaking as long as the sympathetic persons
who hemmed me in signified their refined approval, when suddenly the cry
was raised, “Look out, here comes the coppers!”
This, O my venerable-headed father, I at once guessed to be the
announcement heralding the collecting-bowl which some over-zealous
bystander was preparing to pass round on my behalf, doubtless under the
impression--so obtuse in grasping the true relationship of events are
many of the barbarians--that I was a wandering monk, displaying my
reverence for the purpose of mendicancy. Not wishing to profit by this
offensive misapprehension, I was preparing to rise, when a hand was
unceremoniously laid upon my shoulder, and turning round I saw behind me
one of the official watch--a class of men so powerful that at a gesture
from their uplifted hands even the fiercest untamed horse will not
infrequently stand upon its hind legs in mute submission.
“Early morning salutations,” I said pleasantly, though somewhat involved
in speech by my exertion (for these persons are ever to be treated
with discriminating courtesy). “Prosperity to your house, O energetic
street-watcher, and a thousand grandsons to worship their illustrious
ancestor.”
“Thanks,” he replied concisely. “I’m a single man. As yet. Now then,
will you make a way there? Can you stand?”
“Stand?” repeated this person, at once recognising one of the important
words of inner meaning concerning which he had been initiated by the
versatile Quang-Tsun. “Certainly this person will not hesitate to
establish his footing if the exaction is thought to be desirable.
Let us, therefore, bend our steps in the direction of a tea-house of
unquestionable propriety.”
“You’ve bent your steps into quite enough tea-houses, as you call them,
for one day,” replied the official with evasive meaning, at the same
time assisting me to rise (for it need not be denied that the restrained
position had made me for the moment incapable of a self-sustaining
effort). “Look what you’ve done.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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