Chinese -- England -- Fiction; England -- Fiction; Epistolary fiction; Humorous stories
These barbarians, less resourceful in device, have only recently emerged
from a conflict into which they do not hesitate to admit they were drawn
despite their protests. Such incompetence is characteristic of their
methods throughout. Not in any way disguising their purpose, they
at once sent out an army of those whom could be the readiest seized,
certainly furnishing them with weapons, charms to use in case of
emergency, and three-coloured standards (their adversaries adopting
a white banner to symbolise the conciliation of their attitude, and
displaying both freely in every extremity), but utterly neglecting to
teach them the arts of painting their bodies with awe-inspiring forms,
of imitating the cries of wild animals as they attacked, of clashing
their weapons together with menacing vigour, or any of the recognised
artifices by which terror may be struck into the ranks of an awaiting
foeman. The result was that which the prudent must have foreseen. The
more accomplished enemy, without exposing themselves to any unnecessary
inconvenience, gained many advantages by their intrepid power of
dissimulation--arranging their garments and positions in such a way that
they had the appearance of attacking when in reality they were effecting
a prudent retreat; rapidly concealing themselves among the earth on the
approach of an overwhelming force; becoming openly possessed with the
prophetic vision of an assured final victory whenever it could be no
longer concealed that matters were becoming very desperate indeed; and
gaining an effective respite when all other ways of extrication were
barred against them by the stratagem of feigning that they were other
than those whom they had at first appeared to be.
In the meantime the adventure was not progressing pleasantly for those
chiefly concerned at home. With the earliest tidings of repulse it was
discovered that in the haste of embarkation the wrong persons had been
sent, all those who were really the fittest to command remaining behind,
and many of these did not hesitate to write to the printed papers,
resolutely admitting that they themselves were in every way better
qualified to bring the expedition to a successful end, at the same time
skilfully pointing out how the disasters which those in the field
had incurred could easily have been avoided by acting in a precisely
contrary manner.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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