One day, upon removing some books at the chambers of Sir William Jones, a large spider dropped upon the floor, upon which Sir William, with some warmth, said, "Kill that spider, Day, kill that spider!" "No," said Mr. Day, with that coolness for which he was so conspicuous, "I will not kill that spider, Jones; I do not know that I have a right to kill that spider! Suppose when you are going in your coach to Westminster Hall, a superior being, who, perhaps may have as much power over you as you have over this insect, should say to his companion, 'Kill that lawyer! kill that lawyer!' how should you like that, Jones? and I am sure, to most people, a lawyer is a more noxious animal than a spider." * * * * * BISHOP In Cambridge, this title is not confined to the dignitaries of the church; but _port_ wine, made _copiously potable_ by being mulled and burnt, with the _addenda_ of roasted lemons all bristling like angry hedge-hogs (studded with cloves,) is dignified with the appellation of _Bishop_: Beneath some old oak, come and rest thee, my hearty; Our foreheads with roses, oh! let us entwine! And, inviting young Bacchus to be of the party, We'll drown all our troubles in oceans of wine! And perfumed with _Macassar_ or _Otto_ of roses, We'll pass round the BISHOP, the spice-breathing cup, And take of that medicine such wit-breeding doses, We'll knock _down_ the god, or he shall knock us _up_. * * * * * GAZETTED AND IN THE GAZETTE. These terms imply very different things. The son of a nobleman is _gazetted_, as a cornet in a regiment, and all his friends rejoice. John Thomson is _in the Gazette_, and all his friends lament. * * * * * UNFORTUNATE CASE. A zealous priest in the north of Ireland missed a constant auditor from his congregation, in which schism had already made depredations. "What keeps our friend Farmer B----away from us?" was the anxious question proposed by the vigilant minister to his assistant, "I have not seen him among us," continued he, "these three weeks; I hope it is not Protestantism that keeps him away," "No," was the reply, "it is worse than that." "Worse than Protestantism? God forbid it should,--Deism?" "No, worse than that." "Worse than Deism! good heavens, I trust it is not Atheism." "No, worse than Atheism!" "Impossible, nothing can be worse than Atheism!" "Yes, it is, your honour--_it is Rheumatism_!" * * * * * LIQUIDATING CLAIMS.