"Ay, Mr. Tims," said I, "that is truly a gem--an old lover kneeling at the foot of his young sweetheart, and two fellows in buckram taking a peep at them from among the trees." "Capital, sir--capital. I'll tell you a rare good story, sir, connected with that picture and my own history, with your honour's leave, sir." "With all my heart, Mr. Tims--you are very obliging." "Well then, sir, take that chair, and I will get on like a house on fire; but if you please, don't put me off my clew, sir.--Concerning that picture and my courtship, the most serious epoch of my life, there is a _leetle_ bit of a story which I would like to be a beacon to others; and if your honour is still a bachelor, and not yet stranded on the shoals of matrimony, it may be _Werbum Sapienti_, as O'Toole, the Irish schoolmaster, used to observe, when in the act of applying the birch to the booby's back. "Well, sir, having received a grammatical education, and been brought up as a peruke-maker from my earliest years--besides having seen a deal of high life, and the world in general, in carrying false curls, bandeaux, and other artificial head-gear paraphernalia, in bandboxes to boarding schools, and so on--a desire naturally sprung up within me, being now in my twenty-first year, and worth a guinea a week of wages, to look about for what old kind Seignor Fiddle-stringo, the minuet-master, used to recommend under the title of a _cara sposa_--open shop--and act head frizzle in an establishment of my own. "Very good, sir--In the pursuit of this virtuous purpose, I cast a sheep's eye over the broad face of society, and at length, from a number of eligible specimens, I selected three, who, whether considered in the light of natural beauty, or mental accomplishment, struck me forcibly as suitable coadjutors for a man--for a man like your humble servant." "A most royal bow that, Mr. Tims. Well, proceed, if you please." "Very good, sir--well, then, to proceed. The first of these was Miss Diana Tonkin, a young lady, who kept her brother's snuff-shop, at the sign of the African astride the Tobacco Barrel--a rare beauty, who was on the most intimate talking terms with half a hundred young bloods and beaux, who looked in during lounging hours, being students of law, physic, and divinity, half-pay ensigns, and theatrical understrappers, to replenish their boxes with Lundyfoot, whiff a Havannah cigar, or masticate pigtail. No wonder that she was spoiled by flattery, Miss Diana, for she was a bit of a beauty; and though she had but one eye--by heavens, what an eye that was!" "She must have been an irresistible creature, certainly, Mr. Tims," said I. "Well, how did you come on?"