The _Brumalia_ was a feast of Bacchus, celebrated among the Romans during the space of thirty days, commencing on the 24th of November. It was instituted by Romulus, who used, during this time, to entertain the senate. During this feast indications were taken of the felicity of the remaining part of the winter. P.T.W. * * * * * The Gatherer. "A snapper-up of unconsidered trifles." SHAKSPEARE. * * * * * INNOCENT CONFESSION. A Lady at confession, amongst other heinous crimes, accused herself of using rouge. "What is the use of it?" asked the confessor. "I do it to make myself handsomer."--"And does it produce that effect?" "At least I think so, father."--The confessor on this took his penitent out of the confessional, and having looked at her attentively in the light, said, "Well, madam, you may use rouge, for you are ugly enough even with it." * * * * * MERCHANT TAILORS. A Clergyman hearing a remark made on the humility of the Merchant Tailors' motto, "_Concordiâ parvae res crescunt_" replied, "Yes, that is to say, nine tailors make a man." * * * * * RABELAIS. A JEU D'ESPRIT. In France they say Lived RABELAIS, A witty wight, and a right merry fellow. Who in good company was sometimes mellow: And, Although he was a priest, Thought it no sacramental sin--to feast. I can't say much for his morality: But for his immortality, Good luck! Why he's bound in calf, and squeezed in boards, And scarcely a good library's shelf But boasts acquaintance with the elf. But now I'll tell you what I should have told before, A grievous illness brought him nigh _Death's_ door. Who, bony wight, Enjoyed the sight-- And grinn'd as he thought of the fun there'd be When the jester had joined his company. Rab's friends, good folk! Thought it no joke To the poor joker; they therefore sent around For all the Esculapians to be found; And in a trice (For doctors always haste to give advice-- Mind--don't mistake--I mean when there's a fee) They mustered two--to which add three. Now about the bed Is seen each learned head. The patient's pulse is felt--with graver air Each M.D. seats him in a chair. Crosses his legs--leans on his stick, mums--hahs--and hums Pulls out his watch--takes snuff--and twirls his thumbs. At length, The awful stillness broke-- As if from silence gathering strength Most lustily they all did croak, Their opinions mingling, In discordant jingling-- "A purge"--"a blister"--"shave his head" "Senna and salts"--"a clyster"--"have him bled," "A pill at noon"--"another pill at night," "A warm-bath, sure, would set him right." Thus with purges and blisters, Pills, bleeding, and clysters, The poor patient they threatened Should be deluged and sweatened.