I was persuaded, soon after reaching London, to go down to Essex for a few days, to pay a visit to an old friend. When I arrived at his house, which I think they called Waltham Abbey, I was sorry to receive the melancholy accounts that he had been devoured, and that, if I did not instantly take myself off, I should be dealt with in the same manner. The truth was, that a famine had arisen; and it is well known, on those occasions, as necessity has no law, that the stronger kills the weaker. Day after day the combat is renewed, till at last all except one are destroyed, and he is then obliged to decamp, or eat himself up, as he likes best. It is in this way that castles, houses, &c. which have been long infested by us, are so suddenly entirely freed from our presence. I amused myself in making an excursion to Epping Forest, till I thought the civil war at my late friend's habitation might have proceeded far enough for my presence to be useful. In the forest, one day, I had the luck to kill one of those troublesome reptiles--a Tom Cat. I believe, however, it was a house one. After a hard day's hunting his highness made too free at a Valerian party. I watched my opportunity, and soon put an effectual end to his caterwauling. When I returned to the abbey, I found I was in the best possible time--the garrison being reduced to about a dozen, and they so weakened and tired out with the constant worrying work they had had, that I was myself a complete match for any two of them. In a few days the number was only four, and in other two days I was sole lord and master. [He then returns to town.] At a friend's house, in Berkeley Square, where I met a distinguished party, a scene took place, just such as Pope describes-- Our courtier walks from dish to dish; Tastes, for his friend, of fowl and fish: "That jelly's rich, that malmsey's healing, Pray dip your whiskers and your tail in." Was ever such a happy swain? He stuffs, and swills, and stuffs again. "I'm quite ashamed--'Tis mighty rude To eat so much; but all's so good! I have a thousand thanks to give, My lord alone knows how to live."-- No sooner said, but from the hall Rush chaplain, butler, dogs, and all: "A r--t, a r--t! clap to the door!"-- I, however, made good my exit, and was nothing the worse of a practical warning to be more cautious in future. It would be endless for me to describe all my after voyages and travels. Suffice it to say, I have been both east and west, north and south; and there is scarcely a part of the habitable globe which I have not visited. After all, I have come to this conclusion, that there is no country like Britain. Oh! how I could wish my human existence had been in such happy times and under such glorious sovereigns as a George the Third, and George the Fourth!!!