"My deerest deere, dear sur,"--this was the letter,--"i kim him more nor a wic agon, butt i cuddunt right yu afore ass i av bin with muther an asnt seed father till 2 day. he sais as my fortin is 3 hundurd pouns, he sais as he recomminds me tu take mi hold lover Mister Tomas the gaurdnar, he sais as yu caunt mary no boddi, accause you must be a batseller three ears. if thiss be troo i am candied enuff to tell you ass i caunt wate so long my deerast deer, o yu ave brock mi art! wy did yu sai al ass yu sad iff yu cud unt mary nor none of the scolards at hocksfoot Kolidge. father sais as ther iss sum misstake praps yu did unt no ass mother is not marid 2 father butt is marrid to the catchmun and father is marad to a veri gud ladi ass gove me a gud edocasion. mi deerest deere it brakes my art all from yu for tu part, i rot them lines this marnin. mister tomas sais as i gov im mi prumass befor i cum to ave the apiness of see yu. butt i dant thinc i giv mor promass to him. nor 2 manni uthers. mi deerest deer and troo luv cuppid! i feer our nutshell song is blitid and its ros kwencht in its blum. them was plesent ours when the carnashuns and tullups was all in blo, wasunt them mi deer luv. mister tomas sais ass he can mari me in a munth and father sais i hot tu take im. iff so be as yu caun't du it beefor i thinc i shal take im ass father sais there is sum mistake, mi deerest deere mi art is brock butt i thinc i shall take im iff so bee as I dant ear frum yu. gud nite my troo luv i shal kip your lockat for a kipsic an yu ma kiss my luck off air for the sack of your brockan arted "GRIZEL." It is astonishing how the perusal of this cured us of our affection. At the first line we recollected that she had a tendency to squint, and long before we came to the conclusion, we remembered that her ancles were rather thick, and her feet by no means of diminutive size. Thus ended our love adventures at the University. Our heroine we have never heard of since, and we have resisted the most tempting offers from the loveliest of her sex; and in spite of sighing heiresses and compassionate old maids, we are still a bachelor; and a bachelor, in defiance of all their machinations, we are firmly determined to remain.--_Blackwood's Magazine._ * * * * * MANNERS AND CUSTOMS OF ALL NATIONS. * * * * * CHRISTMAS CUSTOMS IN THE NETHERLANDS. (_For the Mirror_.) Many singular customs are observed in the Netherlands at Christmas, and as they materially differ from those known in England, a brief notice of _one_ of them may probably prove acceptable to the readers of the MIRROR.