alacrity as it was closed, Maotoo decamped without beat of drum, never to appear again.--_Twelve Years' Military Adventures, &c._ * * * * * THE GATHERER. A snapper up of unconsidered trifles. SHAKSPEARE. * * * * * MEMENTO MORI. _Inscribed on a Tombstone._ When you look on my grave, And behold how they wave, The cypress, the yew, and the willow, You think 'tis the breeze That gives motion to these-- 'Tis the laughter that's shaking my pillow. I must laugh when I see A poor insect like thee Dare to pity the fate thou must own; Let a few moments slide, We shall lie side by side, And crumble to dust, bone for bone. Go, weep thine own doom, Thou wert born for the tomb-- Thou hast lived, like myself, but to die; Whilst thou pity'st my lot, Secure fool, thou'st forgot Thou art no more immortal than I! H.B.A. * * * * * TEA-DRINKING. While the late Mr. Gifford was at Ashburton, he contracted an acquaintance with a family of that place, consisting of females somewhat advanced in age. On one occasion he ventured on the perilous exploit of drinking tea with these elderly ladies. After having swallowed his usual allowance of tea, he found, in spite of his remonstrances to the contrary, that his hostess would by no means suffer him to give up, but persisted in making him drink a most incredible quantity. "At last," said Gifford in telling the story, "being really overflooded with tea, I put down my fourteenth cup, and exclaimed, with an air of resolution, 'I neither can nor will drink any more.' The hostess then seeing she had forced more down my throat than I liked, began to apologize, and added, 'but, dear Mr. Gifford, as you didn't put your spoon across your cup, I supposed your refusals were nothing but good manners.'" * * * * * PRECEDENCE. An anecdote is told of a captain in the service, since dead, that whilst carrying out a British ambassador to his station abroad, a quarrel arose on the subject of precedency. High words were exchanged between them on the quarter-deck, when, at length, the ambassador, thinking to silence the captain, exclaimed, "Recollect, sir, _I_ am the representative of his majesty!" "Then, sir," retorted the captain, "recollect that _here I_ am _more_ than majesty itself. Can the king _seize a fellow up and give him three dozen_?" Further argument was useless--the diplomatist struck. * * * * * MARCEL.