When the old earl died, he left four Chancery suits, and a nominal estate to the heir apparent, to whom he also bequeathed his three younger brothers and sisters, who had only small annuities from their mother's fortune, being assured that (to use his own words), "he might _depend_ on him for the honour of the family, to provide for them handsomely." And so he did (in his own estimation); his lady sisters had "the run of the house," and Mr. Augustus Headerton had the run of the stables, the use of hunters and dogs, and was universally acknowledged to possess "a proper spirit," because he spent three times more than his income. "He bates the world and all, for beauty, in a hunting jacket," exclaimed the groom. "He flies a gate beyant any living sowl I iver seed, and his tallyho, my jewel--'twould do y'er heart good to hear his tallyho!" said my lord's huntsman. "He's a generous jontleman as any in the kingdom--I'll say that for him, any day in the year," echoed the coachman. "He's admired more nor any jintleman as walks Steven's Green in a month o' Sundays, I'll go bail," continued Miss Jenny Roe, the ladies' maid. "Choose a profession!" Oh! no; impossible. An Irish gentleman choose a profession! But the Honourable Mr. Augustus Headerton chose a wife, and threw all his relations, including Lord Headerton, the Honourable Justice Cleaveland, Admiral Barrymore, K.C.B., and his cousins to the fiftieth remove, into strong convulsions, or little fits. She, the lady, had sixty thousand pounds; that, of course, they could not object to. She had eloped with the Honourable Mr. Augustus Headerton;--mere youthful indiscretion. She was little and ugly;--that only concerned her husband. She was proud and extravagant;--those (they said) were lady-like failings. She was ignorant and stupid;--her sisters-in-law would have pardoned that. She was vulgar;--that was awkward. Her father was a carcass butcher in Cole's Lane market--death and destruction! It could never be forgiven! the cut direct was unanimously agreed on, and the little lady turned up her little nose in disdain, as her handsome barouche rolled past the lumbering carriage of the Right Honourable Lord Headerton. She persuaded her husband to purchase that beautiful villa, in view of the family domain, that she might have more frequent opportunities of bringing, as she elegantly expressed it, "the proud beggars to their trumps;--and why not?--money's money, all the world over." The Honourable Mister Augustus _depended_ on his agent for the purchase, and some two thousand and odd pounds were consequently paid, or said to have been paid, for it, more than its value. And then commenced the general warfare; full purse and empty head--_versus_ no purse, and old nobility. They had the satisfaction of ruining each other--the full purse was emptied by devouring duns, and the old nobility suffered by its connexion with vulgarity.