"'Then came the old tumbril-shaped city machine, With a Lord Mayor so fat that he made the coach _lean_; Lord Waithman was scarcely a brighter man; The wits said the old groaning wagon of state, Which for ages had carried Lord Mayors of such weight, To-day would break down with a _lighter man_. "'Then proud as a prince, at the head of the band Rode the city field-marshal, with truncheon in hand, Though his epaulettes lately are gone; But he's still fine enough to astonish the cits, And drive the economists out of their wits, From Lords Waithman and Wood, to Lord John. "'But I now left the pageant--wits, worthies, and all-- And flew through the smoke to the roof of Guildhall, And perched on the grand chandelier; The dinner was stately, the tables were full-- There sat, multiplied by three thousand, John Bull, Resolved to make all disappear. "'And then came the speeches; Lord Hunter was fine-- Lord Wood, finer still--Lord Thompson, divine, The sheriffs were Ciceros a-piece; Lord Crowther was sick, though he managed to eat What, if races were feasts, would have won him the plate; But he tossed off a bumper to Greece. "'Then all was enchantment--all hubbub and smiles-- The wit of Old Jewry, the grace of St. Giles, The force of the Billingsgate tongue: Till the eloquent Lord Mayor demanding 'Who malts?'-- The understood sign for beginning the waltz-- In a fright through the ceiling I sprung.'" _Monthly Magazine_. * * * * * AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A LANDAULET. (_Concluded from page 302_.) It happened to be a dull time of year, and for some months my wheels ceased to be rotatory: I got cold and damp; and the moths found their way to my inside: one or two persons who came to inspect me declined becoming purchasers, and peering closely at my panels, said something about "old scratch." This hurt my feelings, for if my former possessor was not quite so good as she might have been, it was no fault of mine. At length, after a tedious inactivity, I was bought cheap by a young physician, who having rashly left his provincial patients to set up in London, took it into his head that nothing could be done there by a medical man who did not go upon wheels; he therefore hired a house in a good situation, and then set _me_ up, and bid my vendor put me down in his bill.