The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and Instruction. Volume 17, No. 485, April 16, 1831Various
History
The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and Instruction. Volume 17, No. 485, April 16, 1831
Various
Popular literature -- Great Britain -- Periodicals
"Now comes the peg 'whereon hangs a tale,' and where my feeling resembled
your own. I felt I was to be miserable for the night--at least so long as
Miss Snooks favoured us with her company; and that she would favour us
with it long enough was evident--for I had a presentiment that she was a
_blue-stocking_, and _they_ always sit late. Her gown was blue, so were
her ribbons, so were her little twinkling eyes, and so was her nose--at
least at the point. But there was no help for it. I made up my mind to the
worst, and allowed her to help me to a bit of fowl. The landlord, and the
two other guests supped on fried codlings. She herself fastened upon a
lobster's claw.
"Meanwhile supper proceeded, and the clatter of knives and forks bore
testimony that the process of mastication was going on swimmingly. For
some time I enjoyed it as much as the rest of the company, as I was rather
hungry and the fowl excellent; but my enjoyment was of short duration--for
Mr. Hookey, the gentleman who sat opposite to me, on the left hand of Miss
Snooks, asked me a question, and on looking up to answer it I saw--not
him, but the lady's nose. I speak advisedly: there is no exaggeration in
the case. If any part of him was visible, it must have been his body. His
face was utterly hid by the tremendous feature which stood between us like
an 'envious shade,' and intercepted all vision in that direction. To get
out of the influence of this 'baleful planet' I shifted my head aside, and
so did he, and we thus got a sight of each other over its peak. From that
moment, all idea of eating was gone. The nose stood at first _literally_
between my friend and me--and now it stood _metaphorically_ between the
fowl and my stomach.
"Unfortunately, Mr. Hookey, besides being a great talker, was a native of
the same part of the country as myself, and having been absent from thence
several years, was anxious to hear of any event and change that had taken
place since he left it. He accordingly bored me with questions which I
could not but answer. I could not answer them decently without raising my
head--and I could not raise my head without encountering the nose of Miss
Snooks.
"But this was not the worst part of the business. Miss Snooks took it into
her head to put questions to me, and thus confronted me still more with
her _promontory_. There was no way of evading the annoyance, but by
getting to the opposite side of the table--a step which it was impossible
to perform with any regard to decency; and I was thus compelled to 'kiss
the rod,' and put the best face I could upon the matter.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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