_Falkner._ In the next instance, I had a friend whom I would have trusted with my life--with more--my honour--I need not tell you then I thought him the first of human beings; but I was mistaken--he understood my character no better than I knew his: he confided to me a transaction which proved him to be a villain, and I commanded him never to see me more. _Sir W._ Bless me! what was that transaction? _Falkner._ It was a secret, and has remained so. Though I should have liked to hang the fellow, he had trusted me, and no living creature but himself and me at this day is possessed of it. _Sir W._ Strange indeed; and what became of him. _Falkner._ I have not seen him since, but I shall see him in a few hours. _Sir W._ Indeed, is he in this neighbourhood? _Falkner._ That circumstance of my friend, and a loss in the West Indies, which shook the fabric of my fortune to its foundation, drove me from the world--I am now returned to it with better prospects--my property, which I then thought lost, is doubled--circumstances have called me hither on an important errand, and before we are four and twenty hours older, you may see some changes which will make you doubt your own senses for the remainder of your days-- _Sir W._ You astonish me mightily. _Falkner._ Yes, you stare as if you were astonished: but why do I stay chattering here? I must be gone. _Sir. W._ Nay, pr'ythee now-- _Falkner._ Pshaw! I have paid my first visit to you, because you are the first in my esteem: don't weaken it by awkward and unseasonable ceremony--I must now about the business that brings me here: no interruption, if you wish to see me again let me have my own way, and I may, perhaps, be back in half an hour. _Sir W._ But I want to tell you that-- _Falkner._ I know--I know--you want to prove to me that you are the least talker, and the best husband in the county: but both secrets must keep till my return, when I shall be happy to congratulate you--and so farewell-- [_Exit._ _Sir W._ Bless my soul! what can he mean? 'I forbid the banns'--'lost my wife'--'horrid transaction'--'back again in half an hour'--dear me--John--Thomas! lady Worret! Helen! [_Exit._ SCENE III.--_A room in_ sir Willoughby's _house_--Helen _and_ Charles _meeting_--Helen _screams--they run towards each other, as if to embrace_--Charles _stops suddenly._ _Helen._ Charles! is it _you_, or is it your _spirit_? _Char._ 'Tis I, madam, and you'll find I have brought my spirit with me. _Helen._ Hey! why what the deuce ails the man? _Char._ My presence here, no doubt astonishes you. _Helen._ Yes, sir, your presence _does_ astonish me, but your manner still more. _Char._ I understand you--you would still keep a poor devil in your toils, though in his absence you have been sporting with _nobler_ game. _Helen._ My good friend, will you descend from your heroical stilts, and explain your meaning in plain English?