Comedy plays; Misers -- Drama; Molière, 1622-1673 -- Translations into English
FRO. What have I come to do? Why! what I do everywhere else, busy
myself about other people's affairs, make myself useful to the
community in general, and profit as much as I possibly can by the
small talent I possess. Must we not live by our wits in this world?
and what other resources have people like me but intrigue and cunning?
LA FL. Have you, then, any business with the master of this house?
FRO. Yes. I am transacting for him a certain small matter for which he
is pretty sure to give me a reward.
LA FL. He give you a reward! Ah! ah! Upon my word, you will be 'cute
if you ever get one, and I warn you that ready money is very scarce
hereabouts.
FRO. That may be, but there are certain services which wonderfully
touch our feelings.
LA FL. Your humble servant; but as yet you don't know Harpagon.
Harpagon is the human being of all human beings the least humane, the
mortal of all mortals the hardest and closest. There is no service
great enough to induce him to open his purse. If, indeed, you want
praise, esteem, kindness, and friendship, you are welcome to any
amount; but money, that's a different affair. There is nothing more
dry, more barren, than his favour and his good grace, and "_give_" is
a word for which he has such a strong dislike that he never says _I
give_, but _I lend, you a good morning_.
FRO. That's all very well; but I know the art of fleecing men. I have
a secret of touching their affections by flattering their hearts, and
of finding out their weak points.
LA FL. All useless here. I defy you to soften, as far as money is
concerned, the man we are speaking of. He is a Turk on that point, of
a Turkishness to drive anyone to despair, and we might starve in his
presence and never a peg would he stir. In short, he loves money
better than reputation, honour, and virtue, and the mere sight of
anyone making demands upon his purse sends him into convulsions; it is
like striking him in a vital place, it is piercing him to the heart,
it is like tearing out his very bowels! And if ... But here he comes
again; I leave you.
SCENE VI.--HARPAGON, FROSINE.
HAR. (_aside_). All is as it should be. (_To_ FROSINE) Well, what is
it, Frosine?
FRO. Bless me, how well you look! You are the very picture of health.
HAR. Who? I?
FRO. Never have I seen you looking more rosy, more hearty.
HAR. Are you in earnest?
FRO. Why! you have never been so young in your life; and I know many a
man of twenty-five who looks much older than you do.
HAR. And yet, Frosine, I have passed threescore.
FRO. Threescore! Well, and what then? You don't mean to make a trouble
of that, do you? It's the very flower of manhood, the threshold of the
prime of life.
HAR. True; but twenty years less would do me no harm, I think.
FRO. Nonsense! You've no need of that, and you are of a build to last
out a hundred.
HAR. Do you really think so?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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