The Misses Mallett (The Bridge Dividing)Young, E. H. (Emily Hilda)
General
The Misses Mallett (The Bridge Dividing)
Young, E. H. (Emily Hilda)
Fiction
She was glad to enter her own, where beauty and luxury lived together.
The carpet was soft to her feet, a small wood fire burned in the grate,
for the evening promised to be cold, and the severe lines of the
furniture were clean and exquisite against the white walls. A pale soft
dressing-gown hung across a chair, a little handkerchief, as fine as
lace, lay crumpled on a table, there was a discreet gleam of silver and
tortoiseshell. This, at least, was the room of a living person. Yet, as
she stood before the cheval-glass, studying herself after the habit of
the Malletts, she thought perhaps she was less truly living than
Reginald in his grave. He left a memory of animation, of sin, of charm;
he had injured other people all his life, but they regretted him and,
presumably, he had had his pleasure out of their pain. And what was
she, standing there? A negatively virtuous young woman, without enough
desire of any kind to impel her to trample over feelings, creeds and
codes. If she died that moment, it would be said of her that she was
beautiful, and that was all. Reginald, with his greed, his
heartlessness, his indifference to all that did not serve him, would
not be forgotten: people would sigh and smile at the mention of his
name, hate him and wish him back. She envied him; she wished she could
feel in swift, passionate gusts as he had done, with the force and the
forgetfulness of a passing wind. His life, flecked with disgrace, must
also have been rich with temporary but memorable beauty. The exterior
of her own was all beauty, of person and surroundings, but within there
seemed to be only a cold waste.
She had been tempted the other afternoon, and she had resisted with
what seemed to her a despicable ease: she had not really cared, and she
felt that the necessity to struggle, even the collapse of her
resistance, would have argued better for her than her self-possession.
And for a moment she wished she had married Francis Sales. She would at
least have had some definite work in the world; she could have kept him
to his farming, as Mrs. Sales had set herself to do; she would have had
a home to see to and daily interviews with the cook! She laughed at
this decline in her ambition; she no longer expected the advent of the
colossal figure of her young dreams; and she knew this was the hour
when she ought to strike out a new way for herself, to leave this place
which offered her nothing but ease and a continuous, foredoomed effort
after enjoyment; but she also knew that she would not go. She had not
the energy nor the desire. She would drift on, never submerged by any
passion, keeping her head calmly above water, looking coldly at the
interminable sea. This was her conviction, but she was not without a
secret hope that she might at last be carried to some unknown island,
odorous, surprising and her own, where she would, for the first time,
experience some kind of excess.
§ 4
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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