The Mistress of ShenstoneBarclay, Florence L. (Florence Louisa)
General
The Mistress of Shenstone
Barclay, Florence L. (Florence Louisa)
English fiction
"Oh, Michael would not mind!" she said. "Anything Michael would mind, I
have always told straight to himself; and they were silly little things;
such as foolish people trying to make love to me; or a foreign prince,
with moustaches like the German Emperor's, offering to shoot Michael, if
I would promise to marry him when his period of consequent imprisonment
was over. I cut the idiots who had presumed to make love to me, ever
after; and assured the foreign prince, I should undoubtedly kill him
myself, if he hurt a hair of Michael's head! No, dear doctor. My life is
clear of all that sort of complication. My trouble is a harder one,
involving one's whole life-problem. And that problem is incompetence and
inadequacy--not towards the world, I should not care a rap for that; but
towards the one to whom I owe most: towards Michael,--my husband."
The doctor moved uneasily in his chair, and glanced at the clock.
"Oh, hush!" he said. "Do not----"
"No!" cried Myra. "You must not stop me. Let me at last have the relief
of speech! My friend, I am twenty-eight; I have had ten years of married
life; yet I do not believe I have ever really grown up! In heart and
brain I am an undeveloped child, and I know it; and, worse still, Michael
knows it, and--_Michael does not mind_. Listen! It dates back to years
ago. Mamma never allowed any of her daughters to grow up. We were
permitted no individuality of our own, no opinions, no independence. All
that was required of us, was to 'do her behests, and follow in her
train.' Forgive the misquotation. We were always children in mamma's
eyes. We grew tall; we grew good-looking; but we never grew up. We
remained children, to be snubbed, domineered over, and bullied. My
sisters, who were good children, had plenty of jam and cake; and,
eventually, husbands after mamma's own heart were found for them. Perhaps
you know how those marriages have turned out?"
Lady Ingleby paused, and the doctor made an almost imperceptible sign of
assent. One of the ladies in question, a most unhappy woman, was under
treatment in his Mental Sanatorium at that very moment; but he doubted
whether Lady Ingleby knew it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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