English poetry -- 19th century; Great Britain -- Colonies -- Africa -- Poetry; Humorous poetry, English
Thus, greatly to our ease of mind,
Our foreign foes we left behind;
But dangers even greater
Were menacing our path instead.
In every book I ever read
Of travels on the Equator,
A plague, mysterious and dread,
Imperils the narrator;
He always very nearly dies,
But doesn’t, which is calm and wise.
Said Sin, the indolent and vague,
“D’you think that we shall get the plague?”
It followed tragically soon;
In fording an immense lagoon,
We let our feet get damp.
Next morning I began to sneeze,
The awful enemy, Disease,
Had fallen on the camp!
With Blood the malady would take,
An allotropic form
Of intermittent stomach ache,
While Sin grew over warm;
Complained of weakness in the knees,
An inability to think,
A strong desire to dose and drink,
And lie upon his back.
For many a long delirious day,
Each in his individual way,
Succumbed to the attack.
[Illustration ** Sin and Blood lounging under a tree being waited
upon by two Africans.]
XI.
Our litters lay upon the ground
With heavy curtains shaded round;
The Plague had passed away.
We could not hear a single sound,
And wondered as we lay--
“Perhaps the Forest Belt is passed,
And Timbuctoo is reached at last,
The while our faithful porters keep
So still to let their masters sleep.”
Poor Blood and I were far too weak
To raise ourselves, or even speak;
We lay, content to languish.
When Sin, to make the matter certain,
Put out his head beyond the curtain,
And cried in utter anguish:
“This is not Timbuctoo at all,
But just a native Kraal or Crawl;
And, what is more, our Caravan
Has all deserted to a man.”
* * * * *
At evening they returned to bring
Us prisoners to their savage king,
Who seemed upon the whole
A man urbane and well inclined;
He said, “You shall not be confined,
But left upon parole.”
Blood, when he found us both alone,
Lectured in a pedantic tone,
And yet with quaint perfection,
On “Prison Systems I have known.”
He said in this connection:--
“The primal process is to lug
A Johnny to the cells--or jug.
Dear Henry will not think me rude,
If--just in passing--I allude
To Quod or Penal Servitude.
Of every form, Parole I take
To be the easiest to break.”
On hearing this we ran
To get the guns, and then we laid
An admirable ambuscade,
In which to catch our man.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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