No sooner was She out of sight, than I quitted my concealment. Fearing
to alarm my lovely Mistress, I drew near her gently, intending to
discover myself by degrees. But who for a moment can deceive the eyes
of love? She raised her head at my approach, and recognised me in spite
of my disguise at a single glance. She rose hastily from her seat with
an exclamation of surprize, and attempted to retire; But I followed
her, detained her, and entreated to be heard. Persuaded of my falsehood
She refused to listen to me, and ordered me positively to quit the
Garden. It was now my turn to refuse. I protested that however
dangerous might be the consequences, I would not leave her till She had
heard my justification. I assured her that She had been deceived by the
artifices of her Relations; that I could convince her beyond the power
of doubt that my passion had been pure and disinterested; and I asked
her what should induce me to seek her in the Convent, were I influenced
by the selfish motives which my Enemies had ascribed to me.
My prayers, my arguments, and vows not to quit her, till She had
promised to listen to me, united to her fears lest the Nuns should see
me with her, to her natural curiosity, and to the affection which She
still felt for me in spite of my supposed desertion, at length
prevailed. She told me that to grant my request at that moment was
impossible; But She engaged to be in the same spot at eleven that
night, and to converse with me for the last time. Having obtained this
promise I released her hand, and She fled back with rapidity towards
the Convent.
I communicated my success to my Ally, the old Gardener: He pointed out
an hiding place where I might shelter myself till night without fear of
a discovery. Thither I betook myself at the hour when I ought to have
retired with my supposed Master, and waited impatiently for the
appointed time. The chillness of the night was in my favour, since it
kept the other Nuns confined to their Cells. Agnes alone was insensible
of the inclemency of the Air, and before eleven joined me at the spot
which had witnessed our former interview. Secure from interruption, I
related to her the true cause of my disappearing on the fatal fifth of
May. She was evidently much affected by my narrative: When it was
concluded, She confessed the injustice of her suspicions, and blamed
herself for having taken the veil through despair at my ingratitude.
“But now it is too late to repine!” She added; “The die is thrown: I
have pronounced my vows, and dedicated myself to the service of heaven.
I am sensible, how ill I am calculated for a Convent. My disgust at a
monastic life increases daily: Ennui and discontent are my constant
Companions; and I will not conceal from you that the passion which I
formerly felt for one so near being my Husband is not yet extinguished
in my bosom. But we must part! Insuperable Barriers divide us from each
other, and on this side the Grave we must never meet again!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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