I now exerted myself to prove that our union was not so impossible as
She seemed to think it. I vaunted to her the Cardinal-Duke of Lerma’s
influence at the Court of Rome: I assured her that I should easily
obtain a dispensation from her vows; and I doubted not but Don Gaston
would coincide with my views, when informed of my real name and long
attachment. Agnes replied that since I encouraged such an hope, I could
know but little of her Father. Liberal and kind in every other respect,
Superstition formed the only stain upon his character. Upon this head
He was inflexible; He sacrificed his dearest interests to his scruples,
and would consider it an insult to suppose him capable of authorising
his daughter to break her vows to heaven.
“But suppose,” said I interrupting her; “Suppose that He should
disapprove of our union; Let him remain ignorant of my proceedings,
till I have rescued you from the prison in which you are now confined.
Once my Wife, you are free from his authority: I need from him no
pecuniary assistance; and when He sees his resentment to be unavailing,
He will doubtless restore you to his favour. But let the worst happen;
Should Don Gaston be irreconcileable, my Relations will vie with each
other in making you forget his loss: and you will find in my Father a
substitute for the Parent of whom I shall deprive you.”
“Don Raymond,” replied Agnes in a firm and resolute voice, “I love my
Father: He has treated me harshly in this one instance; but I have
received from him in every other so many proofs of love that his
affection is become necessary to my existence. Were I to quit the
Convent, He never would forgive me; nor can I think that on his
deathbed He would leave me his curse, without shuddering at the very
idea. Besides, I am conscious myself, that my vows are binding:
Wilfully did I contract my engagement with heaven; I cannot break it
without a crime. Then banish from your mind the idea of our being ever
united. I am devoted to religion; and however I may grieve at our
separation, I would oppose obstacles myself, to what I feel would
render me guilty.”
I strove to overrule these ill-grounded scruples: We were still
disputing upon the subject, when the Convent Bell summoned the Nuns to
Matins. Agnes was obliged to attend them; But She left me not till I
had compelled her to promise that on the following night She would be
at the same place at the same hour. These meetings continued for
several Weeks uninterrupted; and ’tis now, Lorenzo, that I must implore
your indulgence. Reflect upon our situation, our youth, our long
attachment: Weigh all the circumstances which attended our
assignations, and you will confess the temptation to have been
irresistible; you will even pardon me when I acknowledge, that in an
unguarded moment, the honour of Agnes was sacrificed to my passion.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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