Flore rose, and left the hole in the rocks. She did not hesitate, for
instinct had just told her where she should go. Looking towards the
stars, she could see it was close on nine o'clock. As she reached the
railway, a train flew by at full speed, on the down-line, which seemed
to give her pleasure: all would be well. Evidently they had cleared
this line, whereas the other, no doubt, was still blocked, for the
trains did not seem to be running. Now she followed the hedge amidst
the deadly silence of the wild surroundings. There was no hurry, there
would be no train before the Paris express, and that would not be there
until 9.25. She continued her walk in the dense darkness very calmly,
and at short strides, as if she had been making one of her usual
excursions by the deserted pathways of the neighbourhood.
Nevertheless, before coming to the tunnel, she made her way through the
hedge, and advanced along the metals themselves, at her dawdling gait,
walking to meet the express. She had to keep her wits about her, so as
not to be seen by the watchman, as was her custom each time she ran
over on a visit to Ozil. And, in the tunnel, she continued walking,
still, still advancing. But it was not as on the last occasion. She was
no longer afraid, should she turn round, of losing the exact notion
of the direction she wished to take. The tunnel folly was not beating
in her skull, obliterating all idea of time and space, amidst the
thunder of the sounds crashing beneath the vault. What mattered it to
her? She did not reason, she did not even think, she had but one fixed
resolution: to walk, walk before her until she met the train, and then
to still walk on, straight to the lantern, as soon as she should see it
flaming in the night.
Nevertheless, Flore felt astonished, for she fancied she had been going
along thus for hours. What a distance it was, this death that she
desired! The idea that she would not encounter it, that she would walk
leagues and leagues without striking against it, caused her momentary
despair. Her feet were becoming weary. Would she then be obliged to
sit down, and wait for death? To lie across the rails? But this struck
her as unworthy. With the instinct of a virgin and warrior woman, she
wished to walk on to the end, to die erect. And this thought aroused
her energy. She gave another spurt forward, and, in the far distance,
perceived the light of the express, looking like a little star,
twinkling and alone, in the midst of an inky sky.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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