"So that is why you gave way to the other?" he suggested.
She had taken a few steps in the room, and returning, she shrugged her
shoulders.
"No, I did not give way to him," said she. "I tell you so, simply;
and I am sure you believe me, because henceforth there is no reason
why we should lie to one another. He kissed my hand, but he did not
kiss my lips, and that I swear. He expects to meet me at Paris later
on because, seeing him so miserable, I did not wish to drive him to
despair."
She was right. Jacques believed her. He saw she was not telling
untruths. And his old feeling of anguish began again, in the rekindling
flame of their passion, that frightful trouble of the growing mania, at
the thought that he was now shut up alone with her, far from the world.
Wishing to escape, he exclaimed:
"But then, the other one! For there is another one! This Cabuche!"
Abruptly turning round, she went back to him, and said:
"Ah! So you noticed him! So you know that, too! Yes, it is a fact.
There is also this one. I cannot imagine what has come to them
all. Cabuche has never said a word to me. But I can see he is
beside himself, when he observes us kissing; and when I address you
affectionately, he goes off to whimper in out-of-the-way corners. And
then he robs me of all sorts of things, my own private belongings.
Gloves and even pocket-handkerchiefs disappear, and he carries them
over there to his cavern as if they were treasures. Only you need not
imagine that I am likely to fall in love with this savage. He is too
coarse, he would frighten me to death. Moreover, his love is passive.
No, no, when those great brutes are timid, they die of love, without
seeking to gratify their passion. You might leave me a month in his
keeping, and he would not touch me with the tips of his fingers, no
more than he touched Louisette, I can answer for that now."
At this remembrance, they looked at one another, and silence
ensued. Past events came to their minds: their meeting before the
examining-magistrate at Rouen; then their first trip to Paris, so full
of charm; and their love-making at Havre, and all that followed, good
and terrible. She drew nearer to him, coming so close that he felt the
warmth of her breath.
"No, no," she resumed; "still less with that one than with the other.
With nobody in fact do you understand. And do you want to know why? Ah!
I feel it at this hour! I am sure I make no mistake: it is because you
have taken entire possession of me; there is no other word. Yes, taken,
as one takes an object with both hands and walks off with it. Before I
knew you I belonged to no one. I am now yours and shall remain yours,
even against your own wish, even if I do not desire to do so myself. I
cannot explain this to you; it was to that end that we met. Ah! it is
you alone that I love! I can love no one but you!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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