It was known where Strickland was staying. His partner, in a violent
letter, sent to his bank, had taunted him with hiding his whereabouts:
and Strickland, in a cynical and humourous reply, had told his partner
exactly where to find him. He was apparently living in an Hôtel.
“I’ve never heard of it,” said Mrs. Strickland. “But Fred knows it
well. He says it’s very expensive.”
She flushed darkly. I imagined that she saw her husband installed in a
luxurious suite of rooms, dining at one smart restaurant after another,
and she pictured his days spent at race-meetings and his evenings at
the play.
“It can’t go on at his age,” she said. “After all, he’s forty. I could
understand it in a young man, but I think it’s horrible in a man of his
years, with children who are nearly grown up. His health will never
stand it.”
Anger struggled in her breast with misery.
“Tell him that our home cries out for him. Everything is just the same,
and yet everything is different. I can’t live without him. I’d sooner
kill myself. Talk to him about the past, and all we’ve gone through
together. What am I to say to the children when they ask for him? His
room is exactly as it was when he left it. It’s waiting for him. We’re
all waiting for him.”
Now she told me exactly what I should say. She gave me elaborate
answers to every possible observation of his.
“You will do everything you can for me?” she said pitifully. “Tell him
what a state I’m in.”
I saw that she wished me to appeal to his sympathies by every means in
my power. She was weeping freely. I was extraordinarily touched. I felt
indignant at Strickland’s cold cruelty, and I promised to do all I
could to bring him back. I agreed to go over on the next day but one,
and to stay in Paris till I had achieved something. Then, as it was
growing late and we were both exhausted by so much emotion, I left her.
Chapter XI
During the journey I thought over my errand with misgiving. Now that I
was free from the spectacle of Mrs. Strickland’s distress I could
consider the matter more calmly. I was puzzled by the contradictions
that I saw in her behaviour. She was very unhappy, but to excite my
sympathy she was able to make a show of her unhappiness. It was evident
that she had been prepared to weep, for she had provided herself with a
sufficiency of handkerchiefs; I admired her forethought, but in
retrospect it made her tears perhaps less moving. I could not decide
whether she desired the return of her husband because she loved him, or
because she dreaded the tongue of scandal; and I was perturbed by the
suspicion that the anguish of love contemned was alloyed in her broken
heart with the pangs, sordid to my young mind, of wounded vanity. I had
not yet learnt how contradictory is human nature; I did not know how
much pose there is in the sincere, how much baseness in the noble, nor
how much goodness in the reprobate.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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