I suggested that he should go home for a while. He had often spoken to
me of the silent town, somewhere up in the north of Holland, where his
parents still lived. They were poor people. His father was a carpenter,
and they dwelt in a little old red-brick house, neat and clean, by the
side of a sluggish canal. The streets were wide and empty; for two
hundred years the place had been dying, but the houses had the homely
stateliness of their time. Rich merchants, sending their wares to the
distant Indies, had lived in them calm and prosperous lives, and in
their decent decay they kept still an aroma of their splendid past. You
could wander along the canal till you came to broad green fields, with
windmills here and there, in which cattle, black and white, grazed
lazily. I thought that among those surroundings, with their
recollections of his boyhood, Dirk Stroeve would forget his
unhappiness. But he would not go.
“I must be here when she needs me,” he repeated. “It would be dreadful
if something terrible happened and I were not at hand.”
“What do you think is going to happen?” I asked.
“I don’t know. But I’m afraid.”
I shrugged my shoulders.
For all his pain, Dirk Stroeve remained a ridiculous object. He might
have excited sympathy if he had grown worn and thin. He did nothing of
the kind. He remained fat, and his round, red cheeks shone like ripe
apples. He had great neatness of person, and he continued to wear his
spruce black coat and his bowler hat, always a little too small for
him, in a dapper, jaunty manner. He was getting something of a paunch,
and sorrow had no effect on it. He looked more than ever like a
prosperous bagman. It is hard that a man’s exterior should tally so
little sometimes with his soul. Dirk Stroeve had the passion of Romeo
in the body of Sir Toby Belch. He had a sweet and generous nature, and
yet was always blundering; a real feeling for what was beautiful and
the capacity to create only what was commonplace; a peculiar delicacy
of sentiment and gross manners. He could exercise tact when dealing
with the affairs of others, but none when dealing with his own. What a
cruel practical joke old Nature played when she flung so many
contradictory elements together, and left the man face to face with the
perplexing callousness of the universe.
Chapter XXXII
I did not see Strickland for several weeks. I was disgusted with him,
and if I had had an opportunity should have been glad to tell him so,
but I saw no object in seeking him out for the purpose. I am a little
shy of any assumption of moral indignation; there is always in it an
element of self-satisfaction which makes it awkward to anyone who has a
sense of humour. It requires a very lively passion to steel me to my
own ridicule. There was a sardonic sincerity in Strickland which made
me sensitive to anything that might suggest a pose.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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