I have a recollection of large, unbending women with great noses and
rapacious eyes, who wore their clothes as though they were armour; and
of little, mouse-like spinsters, with soft voices and a shrewd glance.
I never ceased to be fascinated by their persistence in eating buttered
toast with their gloves on, and I observed with admiration the
unconcern with which they wiped their fingers on their chair when they
thought no one was looking. It must have been bad for the furniture,
but I suppose the hostess took her revenge on the furniture of her
friends when, in turn, she visited them. Some of them were dressed
fashionably, and they said they couldn’t for the life of them see why
you should be dowdy just because you had written a novel; if you had a
neat figure you might as well make the most of it, and a smart shoe on
a small foot had never prevented an editor from taking your “stuff.”
But others thought this frivolous, and they wore “art fabrics” and
barbaric jewelry. The men were seldom eccentric in appearance. They
tried to look as little like authors as possible. They wished to be
taken for men of the world, and could have passed anywhere for the
managing clerks of a city firm. They always seemed a little tired. I
had never known writers before, and I found them very strange, but I do
not think they ever seemed to me quite real.
I remember that I thought their conversation brilliant, and I used to
listen with astonishment to the stinging humour with which they would
tear a brother-author to pieces the moment that his back was turned.
The artist has this advantage over the rest of the world, that his
friends offer not only their appearance and their character to his
satire, but also their work. I despaired of ever expressing myself with
such aptness or with such fluency. In those days conversation was still
cultivated as an art; a neat repartee was more highly valued than the
crackling of thorns under a pot; and the epigram, not yet a mechanical
appliance by which the dull may achieve a semblance of wit, gave
sprightliness to the small talk of the urbane. It is sad that I can
remember nothing of all this scintillation. But I think the
conversation never settled down so comfortably as when it turned to the
details of the trade which was the other side of the art we practised.
When we had done discussing the merits of the latest book, it was
natural to wonder how many copies had been sold, what advance the
author had received, and how much he was likely to make out of it. Then
we would speak of this publisher and of that, comparing the generosity
of one with the meanness of another; we would argue whether it was
better to go to one who gave handsome royalties or to another who
“pushed” a book for all it was worth. Some advertised badly and some
well. Some were modern and some were old-fashioned. Then we would talk
of agents and the offers they had obtained for us; of editors and the
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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