"But, Thornton," he protested, "who else is there but you? You're the
most expert mathematician in America!"
The astronomer laughed.
"I wish I were," he replied. "But the fact of the matter is my
mathematics is by no means my strong point. Anyhow, I haven't the time.
It's simply out of the question."
"Well, who _is_ there?" persisted Bennie.
Thornton leaned back meditatively.
"I suggest your trying the research professor of applied mathematics at
the new National Institute."
"Thanks," answered his friend, slipping his note-book back into his
pocket and putting on his hat. "By the way, what's the gent's name?"
Thornton's eye twinkled.
"His name," he said, "is Miss Rhoda Gibbs."
IV
Professor Bennie Hooker arose next morning and got on line in company
with Mrs. Mullins' other boarders for his bath in the tin tub just as
usual. But something was different. Breakfast, while no stodgier than
usual, did not taste quite the same, and he answered Miss Parkinson,
the spinster who roomed beneath him, quite sharply that he wasn't
responsible for the milk or for the maple sirup either, although, in
his absent-mindedness, he had appropriated considerably more than his
share of both. The fact of the matter was that Thornton had told him to
go to a woman for assistance--a woman!
It was now upward of thirty years since there had been a woman in
Bennie's life--leaving out, of course, Miss Beebe, his landlady in
Cambridge, and Bridget McGee, the biddy who cleaned his room in the
house on the Appian Way, where Miss Beebe resided. He had never liked
women, anyway--not since they had insisted on swathing him as a child
in flannel soaked in various kinds of healing oils, and his experience
with Miss Beebe and the McGee had not increased his regard. They were
fools--or just scrawny fakers, aping intelligence like Miss Beebe,
who filled him with disgust. Yet, had he known it, that withered
virgin adored the ground upon which Bennie's carpet slippers trod,
and she had not raised the rent on him for eighteen years. Such are
life's tragedies. And now to be sent to one of the despised sex to
crave succor, to beg for aid, humbly to be shown how to solve a not
extraordinarily difficult problem in astronomical mathematics--it
simply made him sick. He wouldn't go to her--he simply wouldn't!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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