His first thought had been to seek safety in flight; then that gently
humorous philosophy with which he habitually looked life in the face
asserted itself, and with a shrug and a muttered "Kismet," he remained.
Nan appealed to him as no other woman had ever done. The ineffaceable
quality of race about her pleased his fastidious taste; the French
blood in her called to his; nor could he escape the heritage of charm
bequeathed her by the fair and frail Angele de Varincourt. Above all,
he understood her. Her temperament--idealistic and highly-strung,
responsive as a violin to every shade of atmosphere--invoked his own,
with its sensitiveness and keen, perceptive faculty.
But this very comprehension of her temperament blinded him to the
possibility that there was any danger of her growing to care for him
other than as a friend. He appreciated the fact that she had just
received a buffeting from fate, that her confidence was shaken and her
pride hurt to breaking-point, and the thought never entered his head
that a woman so recently bruised by the hands of love--or more truly,
love's simulacrum--could be tempted to risk her heart again so soon.
Feeling very safe, therefore, in the fact of his marriage, which was
yet no marriage, and sure that there was no chance of his hurting Nan,
he let himself love her, keeping his love tenderly in one of those
secret empty rooms of the heart--empty rooms of which only the
thrice-blessed in this world have no knowledge.
Outwardly, all that Peter permitted himself was to give her an
unfailing friendship, to surround her with an atmosphere of homage and
protection and adapt himself responsively to her varying moods. This
he did untiringly, demanding nothing in return--and he alone knew the
bitter effort it cost him.
Gradually Nan began to lean upon him, finding in the restfulness of
such a friendship the healing of which she stood in need. She worked
at her music with suddenly renewed enthusiasm, secure in the knowledge
that Peter was always at hand to help and criticise with kindly,
unerring judgment. She ceased to rail at fate and almost learned to
bring a little philosophy--the happy philosophy of laughter--to bear
upon the ills of life.
Consciously she thought of him only as Peter--Peter, her good pal--and
so long as the pleasant, even course of their friendship remained
uninterrupted she was never likely to realise that something bigger and
more enduring than mere comradeship lay at the back of it all. She,
too, like Mallory, reassured herself with the fact of his
marriage--though the wife she had never seen and of whom Peter never
spoke had inevitably receded in her mind into a somewhat vague and
nebulous personality.
"Well?" demanded Kitty triumphantly one day. "And what is your opinion
of Peter Mallory now?"
As she spoke, she caressed with light finger-tips a bowl of sun-gold
narcissus--Mallory habitually kept the Edenhall flat supplied with
flowers.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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