"I don't know," she mused. "Sometimes I think not. It ain't because I
don't want you, Jim," she continued, speaking more softly, now, "that I
don't let you in. God knows, I like to meet old friends; but----"
It was sufficient. The man gently took her arm from the way. He
stepped in--glanced at the sleeping boy, lying still as death, shaded
from the lamp--and turned again to the woman.
"Don't wake him!" she said.
They were still standing. The man was short, long-armed, vastly broad
at the shoulders, deep-chested: flashy in dress, dull and kind of
feature--handsome enough, withal. He was an acrobat. Even in the dim
light, he carried the impression of great muscular strength--of grace
and agility. For a moment the woman's eyes ran over his stocky body:
then, spasmodically clenching her hands, she turned quickly to the boy
on the bed; and she moved back from the man, and thereafter regarded
him watchfully.
"Don't make no difference if I do wake him," he complained. "The boy
knows me."
"But he don't like you."
"Aw, Millie!" said he, in reproach. "Come off!"
"I seen it in his eyes," she insisted.
The man softly laughed.
"Don't you laugh no more!" she flashed. "You can't tell a mother what
she sees in her own baby's eyes. I tell you, Jim, he don't like you.
He never did."
"That's all fancy, Millie. Why, he ain't seen me in three year! And
you can't see nothing in the eyes of a four year old kid. You're too
fond of that boy, anyhow," the man continued, indignantly. "What's got
into you? You ain't forgot that winter night out there in Idaho, have
you? Don't you remember what you said to Dick that night? You said
Dick was to blame, Millie, don't you remember? Remember the doctor
coming to the hotel? I'll never forget how you went on. Never heard a
woman swear like you before. Never seen one go on like you went on.
And when you hit Dick, Millie, for what you said he'd done, I felt bad
for Dick, though I hadn't much cause to care for what happened to him.
Millie, girl, you was a regular wildcat when the doctor told you what
was coming. You didn't want no kid, then!"
"Don't!" she gasped. "I ain't forgot. But I'm changed, Jim--since
then."
He moved a step nearer.
"I ain't the same as I used to be in them days," she went on, staring
at the window, and through the window to the starry night. "And Dick's
dead, now. I don't know," she faltered; "it's all sort of--different."
"What's gone and changed you, Millie?"
"I ain't the same!" she repeated.
"What's changed you?"
"And I ain't been the same," she whispered, "since I got the boy!"
In the pause, he took her hand. She seemed not to know it--but let it
lie close held in his great palm.
"And you won't have nothing to do with me?" he asked.
"I can't," she answered. "I don't think of myself no more. And the
boy--wouldn't like it."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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