Mothers and daughters -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Psychological fiction; Riviera (France) -- Fiction
“Yes. Six years--eight years. I don’t know....” She heard herself
pushing the date back farther and farther, but she could not help it.
“At a time when you were desperately lonely and unhappy?”
“Oh--not much more than usual.” She added, after a moment: “I don’t
claim any extenuating circumstances.”
“The cad--the blackguard! I--”
She interrupted him. “Not that either--quite. When he first met
Anne he didn’t know; didn’t know she was even related to me. When he
found out he went away; he went away twice. She made him come back.
She reproached me for separating them. Nothing could have stopped her
except my telling her. And I couldn’t tell her when I saw how she
cared.”
“No--” There was a slight break in the harshness of his voice.
Again she was silent, not through the wish to avoid speaking, but from
sheer inability to find anything more to say.
Suddenly he lifted his miserable eyes, and looked at her for a second.
“You’ve been through hell,” he said.
“Yes. I’m there still.” She stopped, and then, drawn by the pity in
his tone, once more felt herself slipping down the inevitable slope of
confession. “It’s not only _that_ hell--there’s another. I want to tell
you everything now. It was not only for fear of Anne’s suffering that
I couldn’t speak; it was because I couldn’t bear the thought of what
she would think of me if I did. It was so sweet being her mother--I
couldn’t bear to give it up. And the triumph of your all thinking she’d
done right to bring me back--I couldn’t give that up either, because
I knew how much it counted in her feeling for me. Somehow, it turned
me once more into the person I was meant to be--or thought I was meant
to be. That’s all. I’m glad I’ve told you.... Only you mustn’t let it
hurt you; not for long....”
After she had ended he continued to sit without moving; she had the
impression that he had not heard what she had said. His attention,
his receptive capacity, were still engrossed by the stark fact of her
confession: her image and Chris Fenno’s were slowly burning themselves
into his shrinking vision. To assist at the process was like peeping
into a torture-chamber, and for the moment she lost the sense of her
own misery in the helpless contemplation of his. Sterile pain, if ever
there was--
At last she crossed over to where he sat, and laid a touch on his
shoulder.
“Fred--you mustn’t let this hurt you. It has done me good to tell you
... it has helped. Your being so sorry has helped. And now it’s all
over ... it’s ended....”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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