Mothers and daughters -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Psychological fiction; Riviera (France) -- Fiction
He did not change his attitude or even look up again. She still doubted
if he heard her. After a minute or two she withdrew her hand and moved
away. The strain had been too great; she had imposed on him more than
he could bear. She saw that clearly now: she said to herself that their
talk was over, that they were already leagues apart. Her sentimental
experience had shown her how often two people still in the act of
exchanging tender or violent words are in reality at the opposite ends
of the earth, and she reflected, ironically, how much success in human
affairs depends on the power to detect such displacements. She herself
had no such successes to her credit; hers was at best the doubtful gift
of discerning, perhaps more quickly than most people, why she failed.
But to all such shades of suffering her friend was impervious: he was
taking his ordeal in bulk.
She sat down and waited. Curiously enough, she was less unhappy than
for a long time past. His pain and his pity were perhaps what she had
most needed from him: the centre of her wretchedness seemed the point
at which they were meant to meet. If only she could have put it in
words simple enough to reach him--but to thank him for what he was
suffering would have seemed like mockery; and she could only wait and
say to herself that perhaps before long he would go.
After a while he lifted his head and slowly got to his feet. For a
moment he seemed to waver; then he crossed the space between them, and
stood before her. She rose too, and held out her hand; but he did not
appear to notice the gesture, though his eyes were now intensely fixed
on her.
“The time will come,” he said, “when all this will seem very far off
from both of us. That’s all I want to think of now.”
She looked up, not understanding. Then she began to tremble in all her
body; her very lips trembled, and the lids of her dazzled eyes. He
was still looking at her, and she saw the dawn of the old kindness in
his. He seemed to have come out on the other side of a great darkness.
But all she found to say was the denial of what she was feeling. “Oh,
no--no--no--”; and she put him from her.
“No?”
“It’s enough; enough; what you’ve just said is enough.” She stammered
it out incoherently. “Don’t you see that I can’t bear any more?”
He stood rooted there in his mild obstinate kindness. “There’s got to
be a great deal more, though.”
“Not now--not now!” She caught his hand, and just laid it to her cheek.
Then she drew back, with a sense of resolution, of finality, that must
have shown itself in her face and air. “Now you’re to go; you’re to
leave me. I’m dreadfully tired.” She said it almost like a child who
asks to be taken up and carried. It seemed to her that for the first
time in her life she had been picked up out of the dust and weariness,
and set down in a quiet place where no harm could come.
He was still looking at her, uncertainly, pleadingly. “Tomorrow, then?
Tomorrow morning?”
She hesitated. “Tomorrow afternoon.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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