Mothers and daughters -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Psychological fiction; Riviera (France) -- Fiction
That was what the sunrise reminded Kate Clephane of--as she supposed
it did most women of forty-two or so (or was it really forty-four last
week?) For nearly twenty years now she had lived chiefly with women
of her own kind, and she no longer very sincerely believed there were
any others, that is to say among women properly so called. Her female
world was made up of three categories: frumps, hypocrites and the “good
sort”--like herself. After all, the last was the one she preferred to
be in.
Not that she could not picture another life--if only one had met the
right man at the right hour. She remembered her one week--that tiny
little week of seven days, just six years ago--when she and Chris had
gone together to a lost place in Normandy where there wasn’t a railway
within ten miles, and you had to drive in the farmer’s cart to the
farm-house smothered in apple-blossoms; and Chris and she had gone
off every morning for the whole day, while he sketched by willowy
river-banks, and under the flank of mossy village churches; and every
day for seven days she had watched the farm-yard life waking at dawn
under their windows, while she dashed herself with cold water and did
her hair and touched up her face before he was awake, because the early
light is so pitiless after thirty. She remembered it all, and how
sure she had been then that she was meant to live on a farm and keep
chickens; just as sure as he was that he was meant to be a painter, and
would already have made a name if his parents hadn’t called him back to
Baltimore and shoved him into a broker’s office after Harvard--to have
him off their minds, as he said.
Yes, she could still picture that kind of life: every fibre in her
kept its glow. But she didn’t believe in it; she knew now that “things
didn’t happen like that” for long, that reality and durability were
attributes of the humdrum, the prosaic and the dreary. And it was
to escape from reality and durability that one plunged into cards,
gossip, flirtation, and all the artificial excitements which society so
lavishly provides for people who want to forget.
She and Chris had never repeated that week. He had never suggested
doing so, and had let her hints fall unheeded, or turned them off with
a laugh, whenever she tried, with shy tentative allusions, to coax him
back to the idea; for she had found out early that one could never ask
him anything point-blank--it just put his back up, as he said himself.
One had to manœuvre and wait; but when didn’t a woman have to manœuvre
and wait? Ever since she had left her husband, eighteen years ago,
what else had she ever done? Sometimes, nowadays, waking alone and
unrefreshed in her dreary hotel room, she shivered at the memory of all
the scheming, planning, ignoring, enduring, accepting, which had led
her in the end to--this.
Ah, well--
“Aline!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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