Here, once the resort of all lovers of sport, Are the counters and dice of past players; The belt, too, bestowed upon Heenan, who showed So much grit when he battled with Sayers. Here, loudly proclaiming their passion for gaming, Our prodigal ancestors betted; Their shekels they squandered, and home again wandered, Stone-broke or profoundly indebted! Less prone to high play is the member to-day Than his forbear, that fire-eating gamester. His pleasure he takes in more moderate stakes, And his losses don't cause quite the same stir. But, still, a White's-clubber can win a big rubber, With all of his forefathers' vigour, And double 'no trumps,' too, until the score jumps to A really respectable figure! A cursory look at the old wager-book Will discover full many an entry Recalling the age when this club was the rage Of the pick of our peerage and gentry. But now the old places are filled with fresh faces, Of members less wise and less witty, Of hearty old busters, of pool-playing thrusters, Of brokers and blokes from the City, Whose names are less worthy recording on vellum Than those of a Walpole, a Pulteney, or Pelham! CANTO III THE BACHELORS' While clerks lunch at Lockhart's or Lyons', And labourers meet at some 'pub,' Society's celibate scions Resort to the Bachelors' Club; For here all the members elected Belong to a very smart set, And bask in the sunshine reflected From Mr. Gillett. Here youths of the Governing Classes At regular intervals call, To tap barometrical glasses Or study the tape in the Hall; Discussing the 'latest from Lincoln,' Comparing the odds of each bet, Or reading out jokes from the '_Pink 'Un_' To Mr. Gillett. And though they severely disparage Those trammels that Benedicks bind, And members who contemplate marriage Are spoken to sharply and fined; 'The Sex' they regard as no sinners, And ladies may often be met, Partaking of luncheons or dinners With Mr. Gillett. Here, too, for young persons of leisure Who wish to develop the mind, Instruction is tempered with pleasure, Tuition with fun is combined; New knowledge they gain (one conjectures) And cerebral stimulus get, Attending the Radium Lectures Of Mr. Gillett. Then ho! for this celibate centre For youths who are loth to espouse, Though fish-knives (the gift of their mentor) May tempt them to cancel their vows! And ho! for that guide and dictator! Their whistles let bachelors wet (A whisky and soda, please, waiter!) To Mr. Gillett! CANTO IV THE GARRICK