"I'll not be afther lavin' him at the daypo," says Herself; "'tis no
place for a domestic animal at all, the language them little
drummer-boys uses, the dear knows," says she.
So me bowld mascot he stops up at the Castle and makes free with the
flower-beds and the hall and the drawin'-room and the domestic maids
the way he'd be the Lord-Lieutenant o' the land, and not jist a plain
human Angory goat. A proud arrygent crature it is, be the powers!
Steppin' about as disdainy as a Dublin gerrl in Ballydehob, and if,
mebbe, you'd address him for to get off your flower-beds with the
colour of anger in your mouth he'd let a roar out of him like a Sligo
piper with poteen taken, and fetch you a skelp with his horns that
would lay you out for dead.
And sorra the use is it of complainin' to Herself.
"Ah, Delaney, 'tis the marshal sperit widin him," she'd say; "we must
be patient with him for the sake of the owld rigiment"; and with that
she'd start hand-feedin' him with warmed-up sponge cake and playin'
with his long silky hair.
"Far be it from me," I says to Mikeen, the herd, "to question the
workings o' Providence, but were I the Colonel of a rigiment, which I
am not, and had to have a mascot, it's not a raparee billy I'd be
afther havin', but a nanny, or mebbe a cow, that would step along
dacently with the rigiment and bring ye luck, and mebbe a dropeen o'
milk for the orficers' tea as well. If it's such cratures that bring
ye fortune may I die a peaceful death in a poor-house," says I.
"I'm wid ye," says Mikeen, groanin', he bein' spotted like a leopard
with bruises by rason of him havin' to comb the mascot's silky hair
twice daily, and the quick temper of the baste at the tangles.
The long of a summer the billy stops up at the Castle, archin' his
neck at the wurrld and growin' prouder and prouder by dint of the
standin' he had with the owld rigiment and the high feedin' he had
from Herself. Faith, 'tis a great delight we servints had of him I'm
tellin' ye! It was as much as your life's blood was worth to cross
his path in the garden, and if the domestic maids would be meetin'
him in the house they'd let him eat the dresses off them before they
dare say a word.
In the autumn me bowld mascot gets a wee trifle powerful by dint o'
the high feedin' and the natural nature of the crature. Herself, wid
her iligant lady's nose, is afther noticin' it, and she sends wan o'
the gerrls to tell meself and Mikeen to wash the baste.
"There will be murdher done this day," says I to the lad, "but 'tis
the orders. Go get the cart rope and the chain off the bulldog, and
we'll do it. Faith, it isn't all the bravery that's at the Front,"
says I.
"That's the true wurrd," says he, rubbin' the lumps on his shins, the
poor boy.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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