DAVE. Daisy, how come you let Jim lie lak dat? He’s as big as a liar as he is a man. But sho nuff now, laying all sides to jokes, Jim there don’t even know how to answer you. If you don’t b’lieve it ... ast him something. DAISY. (To Jim) You like me much, Jim? JIM. (Enthusiastically) Yeah, Daisy I sho do. DAVE. (Triumphant) See dat! I tole you he didn’t know how to answer nobody like you. If he was talking to some of them ol’ funny looking gals over town he’d be answering ’em just right. But he got to learn how to answer you. Now you ast me something and see how I answer you. DAISY. Do you like me, Dave? DAVE. (Very properly in a falsetto voice) Yes ma’am! Dat’s de way to answer swell folks like you. Furthermore, less we prove which one of us love you do best right now. (To JIM) Jim, how much time would you do on de chain-gang for dis ’oman? JIM. Twenty years and like it. DAVE. See dat, Daisy? Dat nigger ain’t willin’ to do no time for you. I’d beg de judge to gimme life. (Both JIM and DAVE laugh) DAISY. Y’all doin’ all dis bookooin’ out here on de railroad track but I bet y’all crazy ’bout Bootsie and Teets and a whole heap of other gals. JIM. Cross my feet and hope to die! I’d ruther see all de other wimmen folks in de worl’ dead than for you to have de toothache. DAVE. If I was dead and any other woman come near my coffin de undertaker would have to do his job all over ... ’cause I’d git right up and walk off. Furthermore, Miss Daisy, ma’am, also ma’am, which would you ruther be a lark a flying or a dove a settin’ ... ma’am, also ma’am? DAISY. ’Course I’d ruther be a dove. JIM. Miss Daisy, ma’am, also ma’am ... if you marry dis nigger over my head, I’m going to git me a green hickory club and season it over yo’ head. DAVE. Don’t you be skeered, baby ... papa kin take keer a you. (To Jim) Countin’ from de finger (Suiting the action to the word) back to de thumb ... start anything I got you some. JIM. Aw, I don’t want no more fight wid you, Dave. DAVE. Who said anything about fighting? We just provin’ who love Daisy de best. (To DAISY) Now, which one of us you think love you de best? DAISY. Deed I don’t know, Dave. DAVE. Baby, I’d walk de water for you ... and tote a mountain on my head while I’m walkin’. JIM. Know what I’d do, honey babe? If you was a thousand miles from home and you didn’t have no ready-made money and you had to walk all de way, walkin’ till ye’ feet start to rolling, just like a wheel, and I was riding way up in de sky, I’d step backwards offa dat aryplane just to walk home wid you. DAISY. (Falling on JIM’s neck) Jim, when you talk to me like dat I just can’t stand it. Less us git married right now. JIM. Now you talkin’ like a blue-back speller. Less go! DAVE. (Sadly) You gointer leave me lak dis, Daisy? DAISY. (Sadly) I likes you, too, Dave, I sho do. But I can’t marry both of y’all at de same time. JIM. Aw, come on, Daisy ... sun’s gettin’ low. (He starts off pulling DAISY)