The mule-bone : $b a comedy of Negro life in three actsHurston, Zora Neale
General
The mule-bone : $b a comedy of Negro life in three acts
Hurston, Zora Neale
African Americans -- Drama
(The bone is passing from hand to hand. At last a boy about twelve
takes it. He has just walked up and is proudly handling the bone when a
woman’s voice is heard off stage right.)
VOICE.
Senator! Senator!! Oh, you Senator?
BOY.
(Turning displeased mutters) Aw, shux. (Loudly) Ma’m?
VOICE.
If you don’t come here you better!
SENATOR.
Yes ma’am. (He drops bone on ground down stage and trots off frowning.)
Soon as we men git to doing something dese wimmen…. (Exits, right.)
(Enter TEET and BOOTSIE left, clean and primped in voile dresses just
alike. They speak diffidently and enter store. The men admire them
casually.)
LIGE.
Them girls done turned out to be right good-looking.
WALTER.
Teet ain’t as pretty now as she was a few years back. She used to be
fat as a butter ball wid legs just like two whiskey-kegs. She’s too
skinny since she got her growth.
CODY.
Ain’t none of ’em pretty as dat Miss Daisy. God! She’s pretty as a
speckled pup.
LIGE.
But she was sho nuff ugly when she was little … little ole hard black
knot. She sho has changed since she been away up North. If she ain’t
pretty now, there ain’t a hound dog in Georgy.
(Re-enter SENATOR BAILEY and stops on the steps. He addresses JOE
CLARK.)
SENATOR.
Mist’ Clark….
HAMBO.
(To Senator) Ain’t you got no manners? We all didn’t sleep wid you last
night.
SENATOR.
(Embarrassed) Good evening, everybody.
ALL THE MEN.
Good evening, son, boy, Senator, etc.
SENATOR.
Mist’ Clark, mama said is Daisy been here dis evenin’?
JOE CLARK.
Ain’t laid my eyes on her. Ain’t she working over in Maitland?
SENATOR.
Yessuh … but she’s off today and mama sent her down here to get de
groceries.
JOE CLARK.
Well, tell yo’ ma I ain’t seen her.
SENATOR.
Well, she say to tell you when she come, to tell her ma say she better
git home and dat quick.
JOE CLARK.
I will. (Exit BOY right.)
LIGE.
Bet she’s off somewhere wid Dave or Jim.
WALTER.
I don’t bet it … I know it. She’s got them two in de go-long.
(Re-enter TEET and BOOTSIE from store. TEET has a letter and BOOTSIE
two or three small parcels. The men look up with interest as they come
out on the porch.)
WALTER.
(Winking) Whut’s dat you got, Teet … letter from Dave?
TEET.
(Flouncing) Naw indeed! It’s a letter from my B-I-T-sweetie! (Rolls her
eyes and hips.)
WALTER.
(Winking) Well, ain’t Dave yo’ B-I-T-sweetie? I thought y’all was ’bout
to git married. Everywhere I looked dis summer ’twas you and Dave,
Bootsie and Jim. I thought all of y’all would’ve done jumped over de
broomstick by now.
TEET.
(Flourishing letter) Don’t tell it to me … tell it to the ever-loving
Mr. Albert Johnson way over in Apopka.
BOOTSIE.
(Rolling her eyes) Oh, tell ’em ’bout the ever-loving Mr. Jimmy Cox
from Altamont. Oh, I can’t stand to see my baby lose.
HAMBO.
It’s lucky y’all girls done got some more fellers, cause look like
Daisy done treed both Jim and Dave at once, or they done treed here
one.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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