Detective and mystery stories; English fiction -- 19th century
creative composition, she turned to the study of books with almost as
much ardour as had possessed her when, at the age of twelve, she had
preferred to shut herself up alone and read Shakespeare to any other
form of entertainment. And gradually, almost unconsciously to herself,
the tone and temper of her mind changed and strengthened; she began to
reconcile herself to the idea of the lonely lot which would henceforward
be her portion. Turning the matter practically over in her mind, she
decided that the best course to adopt would be that of a ‘judicial
separation.’ She would make her husband a suitable ‘allowance’ (she
smiled rather bitterly as she thought what a trouble he would make of
it, and how he would fret and fume if he had to do without his
four-in-hand and his tandem turn-out), and she herself would travel all
over the world and gain fresh knowledge and experience for her literary
labours. Or, if constant travel proved to be too fatiguing, she would
take some place in the remote Highlands of Scotland, or the beautiful
sequestered valleys of Ireland, and make a little hermitage among the
hills, where she could devote herself to work and study for the
remainder of her days.
‘I daresay I shall manage to be at least content, if I am not happy,’
she said to herself; ‘though, of course, society will reverse the
position in its usual eminently false and disgusting way, and will
whisper all sorts of lies about me, such as, “Oh, you know a literary
woman is impossible to live with! It is always so; poor, dear Carlyon
could not possibly stand her, she was so dreadful! Clever, but quite
dreadful! Yes, and so they are separated. Such a good thing for
Carlyon! He looks ten years younger since he got rid of her! And they
say she’s living down in the country somewhere not _too_ far from town;
not _so_ far but that Paul Valdis knows where to find her!” Oh, yes, I
can hear them all at it,—croaking harpies!’ and her small hand clenched
involuntarily. ‘The vultures of society can never understand anyone
loving the sweet savour of truth; they only scent carrion. No man is
true in their estimation, no woman pure; and chastity is so far from
being pleasing to them that they will not even believe it exists!’
On the last afternoon of her stay at Broadstairs, she spent several
hours strolling by the sea, listening to its solemn murmur and watching
the sunlight fall in golden lines over its every billow and fleck of
foam. With the gravity of her thoughts, her face had grown more serious
during the last few days, though it had lost nothing in sweetness of
expression; and as she paced along the sand, close to the very fringe of
the waves, with Spartan bounding now and then into the water and back
with joyous, deep barks of delight, a sudden, inexplicable sense of pain
and regret surprised her into tears. Gazing far out beyond the last
gleam of the ocean line with longing eyes, she murmured,—
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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