How describe that battle up the stairway? It was a crucifixion of
struggle, an age-long nightmare of agony. Time after time, as my
consciousness blurred, the temptation was upon me to cease all effort
and let myself blur down into the ultimate dark. I fought my way step
by step. Margaret was now quite unconscious, and I lifted her body step
by step, or dragged it several steps at a time, and fell with it, and
back with it, and lost much that had been so hardly gained. And yet out
of it all this I remember: that warm soft body of hers was the dearest
thing in the world—vastly more dear than the pleasant land I remotely
remembered, than all the books and all the humans I had ever known,
than the deck above, with its sweet pure air softly blowing under the
cool starry sky.
As I look back upon it I am aware of one thing: the thought of leaving
her there and saving myself never crossed my mind. The one place for me
was where she was.
Truly, this which I write seems absurd and purple; yet it was not
absurd during those long minutes on the chart-room stairway. One must
taste death for a few centuries of such agony ere he can receive
sanction for purple passages.
And as I fought my screaming flesh, my reeling brain, and climbed that
upward way, I prayed one prayer: that the chart-house doors out upon
the poop might not be shut. Life and death lay right there in that one
point of the issue. Was there any creature of my creatures aft with
common sense and anticipation sufficient to make him think to open
those doors? How I yearned for one man, for one proved henchman, such
as Mr. Pike, to be on the poop! As it was, with the sole exception of
Tom Spink and Buckwheat, my men were Asiatics.
I gained the top of the stairway, but was too far gone to rise to my
feet. Nor could I rise upright on my knees. I crawled like any
four-legged animal—nay, I wormed my way like a snake, prone to the
deck. It was a matter of several feet to the doorway. I died a score of
times in those several feet; but ever I endured the agony of
resurrection and dragged Margaret with me. Sometimes the full strength
I could exert did not move her, and I lay with her and coughed and
strangled my way through to another resurrection.
And the door was open. The doors to starboard and to port were both
open; and as the _Elsinore_ rolled a draught through the chart-house
hall my lungs filled with pure, cool air. As I drew myself across the
high threshold and pulled Margaret after me, from very far away I heard
the cries of men and the reports of rifle and revolver. And, ere I
fainted into the blackness, on my side, staring, my pain gone so beyond
endurance that it had achieved its own anæsthesia, I glimpsed,
dream-like and distant, the sharply silhouetted poop-rail, dark forms
that cut and thrust and smote, and, beyond, the mizzen-mast brightly
lighted by our illuminators.
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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