The Mysteries of London, v. 4/4Reynolds, George W. M. (George William MacArthur)
General
The Mysteries of London, v. 4/4
Reynolds, George W. M. (George William MacArthur)
London (England) -- Fiction; Penny dreadfuls
“None--unless it be the Lord’s will that I should be supported by
divine grace,” answered the dissenting minister, in so doleful a tone
and with such a solemn shaking of the head that the whole Court was
alarmed lest he was about to go off in a fit.
“I appear to oppose on behalf of several creditors,” said Mr.
Bulliwell, one of the leading barristers practising in that Court.
“Oh! the persevering bitterness of those rancorous men!” exclaimed Mr.
Sheepshanks, clasping his hands together, and turning up the whites of
his eyes in an appalling fashion.
“Silence, Insolvent!” cried the clerk, in a sharp tone.
Meantime, the Commissioners had both been taking a long and
simultaneous stare at the religious gentleman; and though one was
purblind and the other in his dotage, they nevertheless seemed to
arrive in the long run at pretty well the same conclusion--which
was, that Mr. Sheepshanks was a dreadful humbug. The glances they
interchanged through their spectacles expressed to each other this
conviction; and the sharper of the two, who rejoiced in the name of
Sneesby, forthwith proceeded to examine the schedule.
“I see that you were once a missionary in the _South-Sea Islands Bible
Circulating Society_, Insolvent?” said this learned functionary.
“Under the divine favour, I was such a vessel in the good cause,”
answered Mr. Sheepshanks, with the invariable nasal twang of hypocrisy.
“A what?” demanded Mr. Commissioner Sneesby, in an impatient tone.
“He says he was a _vessel_, sir,” observed Mr. Bulliwell, the
barrister. “It is a word much in vogue amongst the religious world.”
“Oh! the Insolvent calls himself a vessel--does he?” exclaimed the
Commissioner. “Well--he has come to a pretty anchorage at last.”
“And yet, sir, I can assure you he is no anchorite,” said Mr. Bulliwell.
These were jokes on the part of the Commissioner and the counsel; and
therefore the attorneys, the clerks, and the audience tittered, as in
duty bound when the wig forgot its wisdom and indulged in wit; and the
Insolvents all laughed too--but for another reason. In fact, Mr. Frank
Curtis had applied his right hand to his nose, and extended it in a
fan-like form--or, in other words, he “took a sight” at the learned
Commissioner, and worked an imaginary coffee-mill at the same time with
his left hand.
Order being restored, the business proceeded.
“And, having been a missionary, I observe by your schedule, that
you turned a Dissenting Minister, Insolvent?” said Mr. Commissioner
Sneesby, interrogatively.
“I was a brand snatched from the burning, sir,” replied Mr.
Sheepshanks; “and, having sorely wrestled with Satan----”
“Give me a direct answer, man!” cried the Commissioner, sharply. “Did
you leave an institution connected with the Established Church and
become a dissenter?”
“Heaven so willed it,” responded the sanctimonious insolvent, in a
droning voice: “I had a call--and I obeyed it.”
“Who opposes this man?” enquired the Commissioner.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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