That evening Columbine went to her room early. It was a cozy little
blanketed nest which she had arranged and furnished herself. There was a
little square window cut through the logs and through which many a night
the snow had blown in upon her bed. She loved her little isolated
refuge. This night it was cold, the first time this autumn, and the
lighted lamp, though brightening the room, did not make it appreciably
warmer. There was a stone fireplace, but as she had neglected to bring
in wood she could not start a fire. So she undressed, blew out the lamp,
and went to bed. Columbine was soon warm, and the darkness of her little
room seemed good to her. Sleep she felt never would come that night. She
wanted to think; she could not help but think; and she tried to halt the
whirl of her mind. Wilson Moore occupied the foremost place in her
varying thoughts--a fact quite remarkable and unaccountable. She tried
to change it. In vain! Wilson persisted--on his white mustang flying
across the ridge-top--coming to her as never before--with his anger and
disapproval--his strange, poignant cry, "Columbine!" that haunted
her--with his bitter smile and his resignation and his mocking talk of
jealousy. He persisted and grew with the old rancher's frank praise.
"I must not think of him," she whispered. "Why, I'll be--be married
soon.... Married!"
That word transformed her thought, and where she had thrilled she now
felt cold. She revolved the fact in mind.
"It's true, I'll be married, because I ought--I must," she said, half
aloud. "Because I can't help myself. I ought to want to--for dad's
sake.... But I don't--I don't."
She longed above all things to be good, loyal, loving, helpful, to show
her gratitude for the home and the affection that had been bestowed upon
a nameless waif. Bill Belllounds had not been under any obligation to
succor a strange, lost child. He had done it because he was big, noble.
Many splendid deeds had been laid at the old rancher's door. She was not
of an ungrateful nature. She meant to pay. But the significance of the
price began to dawn upon her.
"It will change my whole life," she whispered, aghast.
But how? Columbine pondered. She must go over the details of that
change. No mother had ever taught her. The few women that had been in
the Belllounds home from time to time had not been sympathetic or had
not stayed long enough to help her much. Even her school life in Denver
had left her still a child as regarded the serious problems of women.
"If I'm his wife," she went on, "I'll have to be with him--I'll have to
give up this little room--I'll never be free--alone--happy, any more."
That was the first detail she enumerated. It was also the last.
Realization came with a sickening little shudder. And that moment gave
birth to the nucleus of an unconscious revolt.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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