"It is forbidden to anyone, under the most awful penalties, to describe His Supreme Importance's appearance, so I cannot tell you what he was like; but I found him suffering the most excruciating agony with the toothache, and with his face even more swollen than the Chief Cook's had been. "At a sign from the Court Physician I quickly prepared my nettle leaves, which we had thought to gather on our way to the palace, and began to rub them gently on the Grand Panjandrum's cheek, on the opposite side of his face to that which was swollen. "To my horror and amazement, they had no effect whatever, except immediately to raise a terrible rash upon His Supreme Importance's cheek, and to cause him such pain that he called out angrily that it was worse than the toothache itself. "I hurriedly and anxiously consulted my little book to see if by any mischance I had failed in carrying out any of the directions; but no, there it was in black and white--'rub the _other_ side with a stinging nettle.' "I showed it to the Court Physician, and he said-- "'Try the "other" side, then: you've rubbed one side, try the other.' "So in fear and trembling I begged His Supreme Importance's permission to apply the remedy to his other cheek, and after some demur he agreed, but making it a condition that if it failed to act I was to be immediately beheaded. "You may imagine with what anxiety I awaited the result of my experiment, and how carefully I rubbed the nettles on. "It was all in vain: the rash spread under the nettles and the swelling grew greater than ever--evidently my fairy power refused to work--and the Grand Panjandrum was in a fearful rage. "'Fetch the Executioner!' he cried, in terrible tones. 'I will see this impostor executed before my eyes!' And twenty slaves flew to obey his command. "'Grin!' whispered the Court Physician behind his hand, 'grin and bear it; it's the only thing to be done.' [Illustration: "The Executioner in his agitation dropped his axe."] "I gave him a wrathful glance, and was about to speak, when at a sign from the Grand Panjandrum, two powerful slaves sprang forward and bound and gagged me. "There was a sound of approaching footsteps, and from another entrance the Executioner appeared, followed by some slaves carrying the block. "I thought my last moment had arrived, but just then, to my intense delight, I felt a curious sensation, which told me that I was about to disappear. "My feet went first (this is not always the case), and then my legs, and I could see the amazement with which the Grand Panjandrum and all the assembled company were regarding the, to them, extraordinary phenomenon. "The Executioner in his agitation dropped his axe, and stood open-mouthed regarding what was left of me; and, although I was rather anxious lest they should make an attempt to chop off my head before it finally disappeared, I managed despite my gag to 'grin' in the Grand Panjandrum's face, and an instant later I found myself here."