I have dated this back to fit the occasion. Of all the slow burgs, this is the slowest. Had to wait three minutes for an elevator at the hotel and ten minutes longer to reach the sixth floor. I told the Britisher at the desk what the trouble with London was, but he didn’t believe me. Merely raised his eye-brows, but I’ll raise something else if things don’t move along a little faster here before long. Took the bunch out for a ride in a herdic to-day. Saw the Strand, not to be mentioned in the same year with State Street in old Chicag. Elmer Pratt said he reckoned there must be a show in town, judging by the crowd in the streets. Took ’em to see the Alhambra, but Reverend Walpole said it wasn’t a bit like what he thought the Alhambra was like, judging from something he read by Henry Irving. Have had a hard time keeping the folks _en masse_, as the Frenchies say. Mrs. J. Milton wanted to go to a picture gallery to see the Turners, but I told her I’d take her around to the Tivoli and show her some turns that were turns. Reverend Walpole wanted to go to the Westminster Abbey and Saint Paul’s, but from what I heard a man on the steamer say, they are old buildings, out of date and furnished with tombstones. When I want any reading, you’ll have to pass me something livelier than epitaphs. Elmer Pratt wanted to see London Bridge, he heard it was falling down. If there was a Lake Front here, Elmer would be down there looking at the explosion. I took the party down to see Trafalgar’s monument, and pointed it out to them. Have lost Riley Peters and Myrtle Prute, but I suppose they’ll turn up at supper time. We’ve been here two days, and have done the town thoroughly. Leave to-morrow for gay Paris. Can’t hold Smiley Greene. Orville Peters and Wilbur Fry are anxious to get to Venus, where they can play their mandolins on the raging canal. Ernest Pratt is blasé on the trip, having been over here before. Says Europe is an old story to him. Get my name spelled right, Oscar. Be sure to get in the “e.” GUS FIGGEY. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ BIRD CENTER AT LONDON [Illustration] ------------------------------------------------------------------------ BIRD CENTER ABROAD FIFTH INSTALMENT THE Editor is pleased to present to the readers of the Bird Center _Argosy_ the following travel-paper from Mr. Smiley Greene, our popular undertaker, who is doing Europe with a party of travelers from this city. J. OSCAR FISHER, Editor. PARIS, AUGUST.