"What were my sentiments of the various objects I beheld, I shall leave
to your own conceptions; all indeed was wonder, joy, and amazement! The
amiable Marchioness, pleased with my inquiries and remarks, pointed out
and explained whatever she thought worthy my notice or regard. She did
more: she traced the grief which oppressed me to its source, and wiped
the tear of dejection from my cheek. She taught me to look forward with
hope, and to rely with confidence on the wisdom of Providence, which, in
its own time, would develope the mystery that distressed me. The
friendship of this amiable woman, the paternal behaviour of the Marquis,
who joined us at Montpellier, and the amusements of that celebrated
place, to me so novel, soon restored my wonted cheerfulness and health;
and, after an absence of three months, I returned to the Convent; where
the increased infirmities of mother St. Claire, and a fever with which
sister Françoise was seized, called forth all my tenderness and
attention.
"They were repaid by the restoration of this mother of my affection, and
the mild serenity of the venerable Abbess; who, unalarmed, awaited the
hour of dissolution, with a smile of confidence and peace, that
anticipated the reward of a life passed in piety and benevolence. Her
fondness for me appeared daily to increase; but, to my great surprise
and satisfaction, she no longer urged my taking the vows, or even
expressed a wish for my engaging in a monastic life.
"Thus passed a twelvemonth, happy as those I had formerly known; when
the Marchioness again came to the Convent, to take Victoire and Julie
finally from under the care of St. Claire.
"It was then that she declared her intentions in my favour; to which St.
Claire added--'For this reason, my child, I have long ceased importuning
you to enter on your probation. You dislike the life of a nun, and, how
much soever I wish for your society, I prefer your happiness and real
advantage to my own gratification. Here you would be secure from the
storms and cares of life; but, from what I have learned respecting
sister Brigide, who will undoubtedly be my successor, you could hope for
nothing more, save the peace arising from internal religion; and even
that, the mother of a sisterhood has it in her power to disturb, though
not to destroy. With me, you might experience the happiness a life of
religion is calculated to afford; but see, my child,' and she turned a
glass whose last sands were running out, 'my hour is nearly expired! To
the Marchioness then I resign you.--Let the religion, the precepts I
have inculcated, the example I have given you, prove the guides of your
conduct.--Transfer the obedience you have shown me, to her; and may
every happiness attend you!'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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