"Not now," she said, suddenly, and raised her face and looked calmly,
yet not defiantly, back at him with her great, sad, and most lovely
eyes. "I have passed beyond your power," she went on. "Beyond most
human influence, I might say--" then she shuddered and her eyes sank
again. "But oh!" she cried, "at what a cost!--at what a cost!"
He felt as if his heart grew suddenly chill and stony. "I believe you
are right," he said; "my power is gone--yours is the strongest now."
He was silent for a few moments. "One question only," he then said; "I
don't wish to pry into your past. It is enough that we have met--for
that would never have taken place if you had not needed me. So much I
know. Your marriage--was it as I foretold?"
"It was worse," she said, bitterly--"a million times worse! Body and
soul, how I have suffered! And yet, as I told you then, _it had to
be_."
"I did not believe it then," he said stormily; "I refuse to believe it
now. Your misery was self-created. You voluntarily degraded yourself.
What result could there be? Only suffering and shame."
"The good of others," she answered mournfully. "You cannot see it yet;
but I know--it was foretold me. I did my work there. Sometimes I hope
it is finished; but I do not know. One can never tell; at any time the
summons may come again. God help me if it does."
"Is your life in danger, then?" he asked, and again that chill and
horror seemed to thrill the pulses of his beating heart.
"My life!" She lifted her eyes and looked back at his with something
intensely mournful in her gaze. "As if _that_ mattered! What is my
life to me now, any more than it was then? Did I count the cost--did I
call it a sacrifice? Life--the mere material actual life of the body--
has never weighed with me for one moment. And yet," she added, in a
dull, strange voice, "I failed at the crucial test! Failed!--I, who had
denied to myself all woman's weakness, all mortal love, all fleshly
vanities--failed! I am no more now than the veriest beginner on the
path. I, who deemed myself so wise!"
Then she rose and came close to him, and laid her white hand on his arm.
"That," she said, "is why I needed you again. You can help me--you can
tell me where and how I failed."
That light touch thrilled his veins like sorcery. He bent his head and
passionately kissed the white, soft hand. "You failed, oh, my Princess!
because you are still mortal woman. Thank Heaven for it! You failed
because memory and love were still strong in your heart. You failed--
and I am by your side once more. Oh, let the past be forgotten! Brief
is life, but love is its Paradise, and into that Paradise our feet once
strayed. Fate stayed them on the threshold. But now--now--"
She raised her white face. "Do not deceive yourself," she said. "You
have always loved me too well--but I--"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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