The Mystery of M. FelixFarjeon, B. L. (Benjamin Leopold)
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The Mystery of M. Felix
Farjeon, B. L. (Benjamin Leopold)
Detective and mystery stories; English fiction -- 19th century
"There's lobsters, now," said Constable Nightingale; "we know what
color they are when they're boiled, but we don't boil cats, that I
know of, and if we did they wouldn't turn red. You learned natural
history when you was at school, Wigg. What did they say about red
cats?"
"It's against nature," said Constable Wigg, adding, with an
unconscious imitation of Macbeth, "there's no such thing."
"I must take your word for it," said Mrs. Middlemore, only half
convinced, "but if ever my eyes deceived me they deceived me jest now.
If you two gentlemen wasn't here, I'd be ready to take my oath the cat
was red. And now I come to think of it, what made the pair of you cry
out as you did?"
"What made us cry out?" repeated Constable Nightingale, who, in this
discussion, proved himself much superior to his brother officer in the
matter of invention. "It was natural, that's what it was, natural. I'm
free to confess I was a bit startled. First, there's the night--listen
to it; it's going on worse than ever--ain't that enough to startle
one? I've been out in bad nights, but I never remember such a one-er
as this. Did you, Wigg?"
"Never. If it goes on much longer, it'll beat that American blizzard
they talked so much of."
"That's enough to startle a chap," continued Constable Nightingale,
"letting alone anything else. But then, there was that talk about a
spectre cat. I ain't frightened of much that I know of. Put a man
before me, or a dog, or a horse, and I'm ready to tackle 'em, one down
and the other come up, or altogether if they like; but when you come
to spectres, I ain't ashamed to say I'm not up to 'em. Its
constitootional, Mrs. Middlemore; I was that way when I was little.
There was a cupboard at home, and my mother used to say, 'Don't you
ever open it, Jimmy; there's a ghost hiding behind the door.' I
wouldn't have put my hand on the knob for untold gold. It's the same
now. Anything that's alive I don't give way to; but when it comes to
ghosts and spectres I take a back seat, and I don't care who knows it.
Then there was that cry for 'Help,' that Wigg was speaking of. Then
there was the candle going out"--he gave Mrs. Middlemore a nudge as he
referred to this incident--"and the sudden opening of the door there.
It was all them things together that made me cry out; and if brother
Wigg's got any other explanation to give I shall be glad to hear it."
"No, Nightingale," said the prudent and unimaginative Wigg, "I
couldn't improve on you. You've spoke like a man, and I hope our
good-looking, good-natured landlady is satisfied."
This complimentary allusion served to dispel Mrs. Middlemore's fears,
and in a more contented frame of mind she resumed her seat at the
table, the constables following her example.
"May the present moment," said Constable Nightingale, lifting his
glass and looking affectionately at Mrs. Middlemore, "be the worst of
our lives; and here's my regards to you."
"And mine, my good creature," said Constable Wigg.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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