Alas! the edifice of his happiness, which had seemed to him strong
enough to defy every tempest of life, had crumbled, and he stood there
lost in the midst of its debris. No more happiness, joys,
hopes--nothing! All his plans for the future rested on Bertha; her name
was mingled in his every dream, she was at once the future and the
dream. He had so loved her that she had become something of himself,
that he could not imagine himself without her. Bertha lost to him, he
saw no direction in life to take, he had no further reason for living.
He perceived this so vividly that the idea of suicide came to him. He
had his gun, powder and balls; his death would be attributed to a
hunting accident, and all would be over.
Oh, but the guilty ones!
They would doubtless go on in their infamous comedy--would seem to mourn
for him, while really their hearts would bound with joy. No more
husband, no more hypocrisies or terrors. His will giving his fortune to
Bertha, they would be rich. They would sell everything, and would depart
rejoicing to some distant clime. As to his memory, poor man, it would
amuse them to think of him as the cheated and despised husband.
"Never!" cried he, drunk with fury, "never! I must kill myself, but
first, I must avenge my dishonor!"
But he tried in vain to imagine a punishment cruel or terrible enough.
What chastisement could expiate the horrible tortures which he endured?
He said to himself that, in order to assure his vengeance, he must
wait--and he swore that he would wait. He would feign the same stolid
confidence, and resigned himself to see and hear everything.
"My hypocrisy will equal theirs," thought he.
Indeed a cautious duplicity was necessary. Bertha was most cunning, and
at the first suspicion would fly with her lover. Hector had
already--thanks to him--several hundred thousand francs. The idea that
they might escape his vengeance gave him energy and a clear head.
It was only then that he thought of the flight of time, the rain falling
in torrents, and the state of his clothes.
"Bah!" thought he, "I will make up some story to account for myself."
He was only a league from Valfeuillu, but he was an hour and a half
reaching home. He was broken, exhausted; he felt chilled to the marrow
of his bones. But when he entered the gate, he had succeeded in assuming
his usual expression, and the gayety which so well hinted his perfect
trustfulness. He had been waited for, but in spite of his resolutions,
he could not sit at table between this man and woman, his two most cruel
enemies. He said that he had taken cold, and would go to bed. Bertha
insisted in vain that he should take at least a bowl of broth and a
glass of claret.
"Really," said he, "I don't feel well."
When he had retired, Bertha said:
"Did you notice, Hector?"
"What?"
"Something unusual has happened to him."
"Very likely, after being all day in the rain."
"No. His eye had a look I never saw before."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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