He wrote to her about his regard for her and their mutual sense of
responsibility toward their son, and he wanted to say something else.
But when he attempted to recall more intimate phrases it revived his
sense of sin. He felt embarrassed and gave it up.
* * * * *
It was seven o'clock in the evening. The sun had gone. The sky at the
zenith was pale, but along the horizon the foam-white clouds glowed with
pink. From the city light had receded like a tide and rows of housetops
on the length of the sky were like objects left there by a departing
sea. They were separate and waited.
As darkness gathered, it gathered first in the house fronts like an
added heaviness. Above the houses the sky floated--higher, paler. The
sky dilated and soared.
Then the shining pallor grew dim. The sky sent itself down in grayness
to the dark streets where the lamp lights floated in the dust as in
clouds of ash. The house fronts, flaked with light, disintegrated in
the general vagueness.
Horace Ridge was ready to depart. On his last night before sailing he
had sent for Alice to help him finish some work. She passed out of the
twilight into the tiled corridor of the building in which he lived. The
marble walls wavered in light. Lights, clustered above the wainscot,
stabbed her eyes. A sleepy hallboy in a tan uniform vacantly watched her
approach.
She ignored the elevators and walked up the one flight of stairs and
along the brown velvet carpet to the door she wanted. When she rang the
small bell under the brass plate she heard the tinkle in the depths of
her being, sharp, like a light moving under deep water. So keen was her
perception of his coming that she was not conscious of separate
incidents--footsteps, the sigh of the opening door. But in one act he
was there in the place where she had expected him.
He held a hand over his eyes that were guarded with a green shade.
"Miss Alice. I'm merciless these days. Must get something done while the
doing of it is in me." He smiled with his mouth, his eyes mysterious out
of sight.
"You're merciless to yourself. We all know that," Alice said.
He walked after her into the library. Without seeing him, she was aware
of the uncertainty of his tired steps. She was ashamed of her deep
consciousness of his hesitation, knowing that he tried to conceal his
half gestures from her.
He sat down rather heavily and she stood in the center of the book-lined
room, unpinning her hat.
"I would like to have taken you for a lark on my last night instead of
setting you to work. You'll be glad to forget about me." His mouth still
smiled and his big hand moved up to his eyes under the shade.
Alice did not answer. Then she said, "Are you sure you feel well enough
to work?" She had the brusque presumptuous manner which she knew he
tolerated.
"The old dog has a lot of fight in him yet. You mustn't draw too many
conclusions from appearances."
The big room with the high shelves was gloomy in candle light.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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