May knew that she, too, would not be allowed to say her prayers. Aunt
Alice was awful. Aunt Alice in the dark, like a tower. Prayers seemed an
incantation against an evil which Aunt Alice desired.
"Can you undo your own dress?"
May squirmed and bent forward. Her hand reached up to the first button.
"Here! At that rate it will take you all night!" Out of the darkness
again, Aunt Alice's hand, heavy and hot and sure. She clutched May's
shoulder and gave it a little shake. "Wriggler!"
The clothes slipped off. May felt her nakedness piercing the dark.
Suddenly Aunt Alice caught her and faced her about, naked as she was.
"What makes you act as though I were an ogress, May?"
Aunt Alice's hands hurt. May was no longer aware that Aunt Alice existed
separate from the dark. It was shadow itself that bit into the child's
flesh.
"I--I don't know." May giggled. Her eyes shone with arrested tears.
"Did I ever hurt you? Suppose I had pinched you--like this! Slapped
you!"
Aunt Alice's hand flew out of the dark and fastened itself, alive and
stinging, on May's cheek. It was a light slap, almost in play, but May
died under it. She was stupid like a mirror. She sobbed painlessly.
"What are you crying for? Cry-baby! As if I had really hurt you!"
May did not care any more; so she went on crying.
"You ought to be ashamed of yourself! You'll wake the baby up."
May cried.
"Hush, I say!" Alice held May against her breast in a fierce, unkind,
smothering hug, so that the baby might not hear her cry.
She uncurled May's loose fingers and laid them against her breast in the
darkness. She wanted May to be conscious of breasts burning and
unfolding of themselves. She wanted May to help her to understand her
breasts.
May felt Aunt Alice big and soft under her palm. She did not want her.
She had no name for the feel of her beyond the consciousness of softness
which she did not like.
She was naked and chilled. Her palm sunk upon the big bosom where Aunt
Alice pressed it, and she shuddered away from the yielding flesh. She
did not want to know why Aunt Alice was like that. Why Aunt Alice's
front swelled softly thick under her fingers. Why Aunt Alice's heart
beat with a steady and terrible hammer.
"Here! Get away from me and put on your nightgown, you silly little
girl!"
May was glad to be freed and pulled the gown on. Her head caught in the
fabric, but she struggled through until, finally, her face peeped
out--only a blind blur of face in the dim room.
"Get into bed!"
Aunt Alice sounded sharp and commanding again. May felt, more than ever,
she was unloved, but, remembering the feel of the big bosom, was glad.
Free!
May scampered across the cold, bare floor on her bare feet. She braced
her toes in the rail of the bed and swung herself over. Then she
snuggled down--quick!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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