Imagine then the feeling of the Deity towards some of those who most
confidently enter His temple. Just imagine His attitude towards
those who deal in the obvious platitudes that “honesty is the best
policy,” or “genius the capacity for taking pains.” So for days the
world appears to them. Then suddenly: honesty no longer pays; the
creature, amassing with his infinite pains, data for his Great Work,
is discovered to have produced a work of an Infinite Dulness. That is
the all-suffering Deity manifesting Himself to His worshippers. For
assuredly a day comes when two added to two no longer results in four.
That day will come on April 5 for Edward Burden.
After all he has done nothing to make two and two become four. He has
not even checked his accounts: well: for some years now I have been
doing as much as that. But with his _fiancée_ it is different. She is
a fair, slight girl with eyes that dilate under all sorts of emotion.
In my office she appears not a confident worshipper but a rather
frightened fawn led before an Anthropomorphic Deity. And, strangely
enough, though young Burden who trusts me inspires me with a sardonic
dislike, I felt myself saying to this poor little thing that faced me:
“Why: I have wronged you!” And I regretted it.
She, you see, has after all given something towards a right to enjoy
the Burden estates and the Burden wealth; she has given her fragile
beauty, her amiability, her worship, no doubt, of the intolerable
Edward. And all this payment in the proper coin: so she has in a sense
a right....
Good-night, dear one, I think you have it in your power--you _might_
have it in your power--to atone to this little creature. To-morrow I
will tell you why and how.
III
I wrote last night that you have something in your power. If you wished
it you could make me live on. I am confident that you will not wish
it: for you will understand that capriciously or intolerably I am
tired of living this life. I desire you so terribly that now, even the
excitement of fooling Burden no longer hypnotizes me into an acceptance
of life without you. Frankly, I am tired out. If I had to go on living
any longer I should have to ask you to be mine in one form or other.
With that and with my ability--for of course I have great ability--I
could go on fooling Burden for ever. I could restore: I could make
sounder than ever it was that preposterous “going concern” the Burden
Estate. Unless I like to let them, I think that the wife’s solicitors
will not discover what I have done. For, frankly, I have put myself out
in this matter in order to be amusing to myself and ingenious. I have
forged whole builder’s estimates for repairs that were never executed:
I have invented whole hosts of defaulting tenants. It has not been
latterly for money that I have done this: it has been simply for the
sheer amusement of looking at Edward Burden and saying to myself:
“Ah: you trust me, my sleek friend. Well....”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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